Saturday, December 21, 2013


I actually took this picture because you were totally throwing a fit before I snapped it. Something about seeing yourself whether it is in a mirror or on the screen of my iPhone gets your attention every time. I thinks it's because you recognize a beautiful baby when you see one. Smarty pants. You are such a handsome little boy. 

Friday, December 20, 2013

The First Amendment

So... I am sure you are all watching the flood of Robertson news fill Facebook, MSN, Yahoo, etc. After hearing/reading the news on the recent comment made in GQ by the Robertson Patriarch I have been sitting back and watching what people have to say while deciding about whether or not I want to weigh in on this topic. I have decided that I am going to throw my own opinion out there, I am sure that some will not agree with me on this and that is perfectly fine, I am not asking for anyone else's opinion, nor am I forcing anyone else to read this. Also, even though I am not concerned with the opinions of others, I hope that you do have an opinion on this because lets face it kids, our society sucks. There was once a time in the American culture when issues like this meant something. A time when people were grateful and appreciated their rights and the rights of others.

Ok first of all if you have not read the entire article I suggest you do. You can find it Here. I have noticed a trend that those who do not agree with what he said are missing the point and are also totally uneducated because they heard someone say something or they are only reading the part that the media wants them to see and that is that Phil Robertson was placing his judgment against homosexuality. Clearly if you read the article that is not what happened. Also for the record, I have absolutely nothing against homosexuality. I have friends in the LGBTQ community and I love them dearly but this has absolutely nothing to do with whether or not Phil Robertson or I have any beliefs towards that, this is about freedom of speech.

As a Christian family, avid family of hunters and fishermen, and red blooded conservative American's I am deeply saddened that Phil Robertson has been treated this way for exercising his right to use the First Amendment. He clearly stated in this article that while his belief is that homosexuality is a sin, he never says that he is, or believes that it is his right to judge. If he would have said that his belief was that heterosexuality was a sin do you believe that it would have been blown way, way, out of proportion like this has? I very seriously doubt it. (Although I am sure we would all be a little shocked and confused if Phil Robertson were to ever say that.) What has happened to our country? We will all sit by and watch as Miley Cyrus grinds a foam finger but a devoted God-fearing man expresses his beliefs on what the Bible tells us is morally right and all of a sudden America is an uproar. What?! How does this even make sense? How did we get here?

I am also saddened that GQ would even publish this article and I find the writer of this article to be VERY disrespectful. First of all let me say that I am the worst when it comes to cussing, my husband has on occasion called me, "Momma Trucker Mouth" because if I am angry more than likely you are going to hear my "coping skill" which usually starts with the letter F. (This is something I am working on changing by the way. I realize that as a parent the last thing I ever want is a school calling me because my kid has a dirty mouth and guess who he learned it from?)  Anyways, I find this writer to be disrespectful because the Robertson family is very open about how they feel about portraying themselves on tv and that they do not want to be shown as a bunch of dirty mouthed individuals. I can hardly believe that they would have been ok with the words this individual wrote in an article about them. I do realize that he was only expressing his own right to use the First Amendment but come on... are we that far out of touch with being respectful? It seemed like this individual was all about respecting this man in his home but as soon as he began to write he changed gears somewhere. If he was writing an article about his father or grandfather would he have used the same kind of language?

I believe that the Robertson's are a family worth looking up too and not just because I feel like their family thinks and feels the same way that my little family and I do. I believe that they are worth looking up to because they have gone through many of the struggles and hardships that we have all been through but they still have faith. Their faith may not be the same as yours but regardless they are a strong family who I believe are genuinely concerned with the salvation of others.


I think that you are going through another growth spurt. Eating and sleeping has been all you have wanted to do for the past two days, but I don't mind. I love watching you sleep. 

Thursday, December 19, 2013


Every day I am so thankful that God blessed me with such a wonderful son! I love watching you grow and learn new things every day. You are such a good baby. 

Wednesday, December 18, 2013


Today we celebrated Momma's 3.8 gpa by staying in bed late together. You are very happy in the morning. I love telling you good morning every morning because you smile and coo back at me and I am instantly in a good mood for the rest of the day. 

Tuesday, December 17, 2013


For the past 3 days we have been dealing with a clogged tear duct but despite that you continue to have a smile on your little face! I love how happy you are. Sweet Baby. 

Monday, December 16, 2013

80 Days with You

Day 80 and I still can not believe you are mine. Today we have spent the day snuggling while we wait for Daddy to get home from work. You look just like him when you are sleeping. I love that about you. 

Sunday, December 15, 2013

While the family is sleeping...

So guess what?! My little blog passed 3,000 page views!
That is pretty awesome being as how I post maybe once a month these days.
Does anyone remember how myspace had a tracker that would count how many times your profile had been viewed? I use to be super obsessed with that thing! Ridiculous.
Anywho, lucky me, I have had the opportunity to be on here twice this week. Actually, I just can not sleep and I have already scrubbed my kitchen down for the five millionth time.
I am sure that I will have to do it all again tomorrow because lets face it, even though Baby Daddy is the best Dad/hunter/Contractor/fly fisherman/husband ever, he is also the best at turning my spotless kitchen into a disaster zone and I do not find that nearly as hot as I find the other things previously listed. Speaking of hot...
I have gotten pretty good at sneaking pictures of Baby Daddy and Baby Love lately and I caught this moment today while we were visiting my Dad-in-Law. These two...ugh!, they just melt my little heart. Something about seeing your husband snuggle your tiny baby like this makes you fall in love with him all over again every time. In fact next time I am mad at him, he should just pick up our kiddo and do this and I will probably forget all about being mad.  
The sweet guys in my life also won a lot of brownie points today. Lookie, Lookie at what Momma got for Christmas! That's right, a Kitchen Aid Food Processor! Let me start out by saying that I am obsessed with all things Kitchen Aid! (Actually... apparently I am obsessed with a lot of things if you read this blog regularly... myspace page view counters, baby clothes, shipwrecks, turkey hunting, etc.) Baby Daddy and I were joking tonight as I was taking everything apart and learning how to put all the blades in and I learned that this is his version of a Christmas/Push gift. I am considering having another kid next year because I think I need a Candy Apple Red Kitchen Aid Mixer. Just Kidding. This processor is going to come in super handy this week when I decide to get it together and finish canning the millions of quince that are still in my garage though!
So tomorrow I am embarking upon a new project using this blog. I found this app that I have recently been using called, Time hop. If you are an avid Facebooker it is really cool because you can look back at things you posted on this day years ago.
Anyways because of this app I started thinking about using this blog to record the things that Baby Love does daily with pictures so that I can look back in a year and remember how tiny and precious he is now. especially since guess who will be 80 days old tomorrow?!

Yep this guy!
Can you believe it has been 80 days since this precious boy entered the world already? I am pretty sure I was just whining about being miserably pregnant yesterday!
Anyways stay tuned while I get this project up and rolling. This is going to require a huge amount of discipline on my part!


Thursday, December 12, 2013

Gearing Up for Our First Christmas

Today was my very last final of the semester and to celebrate Baby Daddy, Baby Love and I went out for a date night and Christmas shopping. Whoo! I can not even begin to tell you how excited I am to be done with this semester. I feel like I am running a race now. When I originally decided to go back to school I thought, "Ok, gonna take my time and get through this the right way." Now I catch myself thinking, "Ok, I have got to get this done so I can spend more time with Baby!" Amazing how all of your priorities change as soon as you become a parent. It is also amazing that now I feel like I am doing this more for him then I am myself. I mean sure, I want to have an actual career but I also want my kiddo to see how important education is. Even though Baby Daddy and I can not agree on that one. (Baby Daddy believes we should push him to do something that makes him happy and I believe in pushing him towards having an education whether he wants one or not because I believe it is going to come in pretty handy one day.)

 Also.. wow, I love how babies are like sponges! So before Reeves was even born I started reading to him every day and every night. We now have play time every day that consists of tummy time, reading time, then we play with his felt animals, etc. and we also read 1-3 books a night during bedtime. He loves reading time though, as soon as I pick up his books he begins smiling and cooing and it just melts my heart. I may be bias but I am convinced he is the most alert 11 week old I have ever met!

So tonight Baby Daddy, Baby Love, and I pretty much finished up our Christmas shopping and let me tell you. I have decided that being a parent at Christmas time is way more fun then being a kid at Christmas time. Although, I will say having a "new mom body" while Christmas shopping sucks. I have not really purchased clothing for myself in a long time and tonight while I was shopping I would look at something and think it was adorable but then I would remember the dreaded C section flab that I can not get rid of. Have other c section Mom's had an issue with this? I am back to my pre-baby weight, in fact I am a little under but, holy macaroni, you wouldn't know it by the extra flab I have right above my C-section scar that just refuses to go away.
I need to do something about my look soon though! Baby Daddy bought me this cute little NMSU sweater for Christmas but he got the wrong size so we went to campus the other night to exchange it (and yes, we are cheaters and have already gotten into our Christmas gifts to each other.) and while there I saw this girl in the cutest outfit I had ever seen and then I began to do the thing you should never do... I compared myself to her. Me- totally not rocking the day old Mom outfit complete with spit-up on one shoulder that I neglected to notice when I left the house. Ugh. I know, I am more awesome because in exchange for the cute outfit and slender body I gave birth to a faux hawk toting, perfect, precious, Baby Daddy look alike but feeling hot every now and then would be awesome too.
Anyways, back to being a parent at Christmas time.... not sure how I get off on little ventures like that.... tonight I bought my kid the cutest little outfits! I have to share because I can't keep them to myself.
Tractor Supply currently has baby Carhartt stuff on sale. Cute!
JC Penney also has most of their winter baby clothes on clearance! And yes, JC Penney is still around! How about I seriously questioned whether or not they were not to long ago! Also... they no longer produce and send out Christmas catalogs. Can you believe that? My entire life was once centered upon waiting until that time of year in which JC Penney would send out their Christmas catalogs! As soon as we got to Maw's house (my Grandma) I would quickly locate the JC Penney's catalog, circle basically everything in the toy section and then fight with my little sister because, "Oh no!, You did not just circle the same thing!" How are kids even suppose to come up with a wishlist?! Technology has ruined EVERYTHING!
Moving on...
Oh I love deer stuff. He also has the matching onesie Henleys to these Jammies.
Baby Daddy found this one all by himself and insisted on Baby Love having this for part of his first Christmas outfit! It is going to look adorable with his Baby Levis!
And then this little jacket. I saw this jacket before Baby Love was even born and I kept waiting for it to go on sale. I absolutely love this little jacket. I am now completely obsessed with baby clothes by the way. Love em'!
Look at the little elbow patches! *eeeeek!* It's so cute!
My new obsession with having a stylish kid is also probably why I am not so stylish myself these days.
However, I am really looking forward to our first Christmas as a family but I am looking forward to next Christmas even more because kiddo will be old enough to start getting excited about stuff! :)
Anyways... if I am not back before then....

We wish you all a

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!




Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Just a little update

It's been awhile since I have had the opportunity to blog. Actually that is a lie, there have been a few but let me tell you, those rare moments are normally spent in a daze, or I am snapping pictures of my sleeping babe, or researching something that has to do with raising chillins. I have recently become even more obsessed with my son's future education than I was before he was born and have been studying up on all the things I want him to learn before he starts school one day and I know... I probably sound like a crazy person. Let me tell you though, I have decided that we are failing as a society to produce educated, functioning individuals. Did you know that the number one word for 2013 was, "selfie". *Banging head on table.* I don't even want to live in this world anymore y'all.

Anyways, my sweet little Baby Love is growing so fast! We definitely have this nursing business down to a science at this point because every week we are growing out of something. He has also started to develop all these new skills. He has begun batting at his stuffed animals when I show them to him, he coos at them and at me. Every morning when we get up he smiles and tries to giggle. The giggle is more of an airy laugh at this point but we are getting closer to a real giggle. He is sleeping through the night or only waking up once, twice at the most and he loves it when Daddy comes home from work. As soon as he hears Daddy's voice he starts looking for him. He also loves Murphy but Ti seems to scare him a little. He coos at Murph but he screams at Ti. Also Murphy is super protective and tried to beat up Ti the other night for getting to close to baby while he was crying. Protective little Booger!

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Life as a Mom

I've decided that I don't want this baby to grow up, I just want him to stay tiny and cuddly forever. I could just sit here and stare at him forever. Sigh. I am going to make the worlds worst mother in law one of these days.

So adjusting to motherhood has been easier then I ever could have imagined it would be as long as I am at home (I'll explain that in the next paragraph). Adjusting to being a mother and a college student however has not been the easiest thing. So much for all of that discipline I use to have. "Due tomorrow? Do tomorrow!", Is kind of how I have been operating lately. Not because I can't find time to do it, mainly just because I CAN NOT put this baby down. He's sleeping in my lap by the way. I am typing this with one hand. No joke. Also... college professors are a bunch of... well I don't have a nice name for them right now so I will keep it to myself. I missed a quiz worth 10 points because I was in labor. It took me sending copies of emails and policies to a department head before the professor would let me take the quiz. I was told that I should have "found time" to take the quiz... the quiz that opened at midnight on the 26th and closed on midnight of the 27th. I was in active labor on the 26th, my son was born at 2:48 pm on the 27th and I was in recovery and high off my ass on all the pain killers and anesthesia they were giving me after my C-section for the rest of the day. I didn't come out of the fog till about the 29th. I have no idea when I could have possibly found time to take a 10 point quiz. Ugh.

The past few weeks have been such a whirlwind. Between all of our visitors and doctor's appointments I could just lay down and rest for a week, but obviously that is so not going to happen. I am having an issue with high blood pressure though. Turns out I have a huge issue with anxiety every time we leave the house. Who knew that going out on a simple little outing to the doctor's office could be so hectic?! For example: Did I pack everything I will need in the diaper bag? Is there enough time in between feedings? Man I hope that there are not a bunch of freshmen who can't drive out on the road this morning! These are just a few thoughts that I have every time. It's very nerve racking to leave the house for a new mom and tomorrow is going to be ridiculous because tomorrow will be the first time I have done it alone. My two weeks are finally up as far as driving go tomorrow and I have developed a plan so that I will not have to carry him in his car seat (C-section still healing) so I have decided to bite the bullet and face my fear tomorrow since Joe has to work. How do people do this with more than one child? If I am feeling crazy now I can only imagine how I would be with more than one.

So now I am going to talk about breast feeding... if you have an issue with this, please, leave my page, because obviously I do not have a problem talking about it.

This has been such an adventure already and wow... let me tell you, I was really tossed out to the wolves on this one. While we were in the hospital I was handed my baby and told that I needed to feed him. I was not given any instruction on how to or how to hold him, etc. Everything I knew I had learned from youtube because my husband and I were nervous, anxious, idiots who Googled everything and thank God for that. Seriously Joe was more of a lactation consultant then any one we saw in the hospital. I had one nurse who suggested a football hold and then left and I never saw her again. Anyways, I was then told that my newborn needed to breastfed every 4 hours and then was instructed by the pediatrician that he needed to be fed every two hours. Then they promptly scooted us out the door and we went home wondering just when the heck we should feed him. For a week we fought every two hours to get this kid to eat and he was not having it. I was about to come unglued. When we took him back for his check up they still kept insisting that he eat every two hours. Ok, honestly... if a baby does not want to eat, how do you force them to do so? You don't. Trust me. Finally when I went back to my doctor for my check up and he caught on to my high blood pressure and anxiety I told him the story and he told me to allow kiddo to eat when he was good and ready, which is about every three for him. Anyways, one would think that since we are so crazy about all this natural birth stuff now that hospital staff would also be a little more concerned on making sure that new mothers had more information on breast feeding. They were all about allowing me to try to give birth as natural as possible before we found out that I have issues with my pelvis but they were no help what so ever in helping me learn how to feed my child in the most natural way possible. What?! Insane.

We seem to have a pretty good schedule down now although I am convinced we may be going through some what of a growth spurt because feedings have suddenly been more frequent and longer these last few days and I read on the internet (once again, thank God for Google) that they usually have a little growth spurt about this time.

So what have we learned so far about breastfeeding?

1. Patience is a virtue.
2. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.
3. Husband's have a bigger role in breast feeding then they know... that is if they are the supportive type.
4. It's the most rewarding thing you can do for yourself and your child.
5. The tiny person that you just evicted is still in control of your body.

Also... I buttoned a pair of pants today. Not my skinny girl pants but a pair of pants and by no means were they comfortably buttoned but they were buttoned.

Monday, September 30, 2013

Human Pacifier

Phew.... I'm coming up for air for a few minutes, (I have been submerged in baby cuddles and happiness) to tell you all how great this is.

So this last Wednesday night I went into the hospital because I was having some serious pains, only to be sent back home because I was only a centimeter dilated. So then I stayed up all night, thinking I was dying because the back pain went from a two to an eight in just a few hours. The next morning we found out I had dilated to a three when we went in for our doctors appointment and then my eight shot up to about a twelve on the pain scale. So we went into the hospital at about 2pm and I was at a four and in active labor. The next thing I knew was that it was Friday morning at 10 am and I had just started pushing. I pushed for four hours before they realized that Reeves was stuck and that my pelvis was not spreading. So...I got to experience the majority of natural birth and a full fledged emergency under general C-section. Ehh... honestly, I really wish I would have been able to finish out with a natural birth but I am more excited that I was able to have a happy beautiful baby. And now we know if we decide to have another in the future (far into the future) that there is only one option for us. Also... umm I would just like to suggest, if you can help it, never combining the two types of labors, recovery is a beeotch if you do.

We got to come home yesterday though and wow... I just love my kid. My little man is perfect, although I may be a little bias. I never thought I could love another human being like this, it really is a different kind of love too. Also, I am pretty sure I fell for my husband again on a whole different level then before. Something about a man that won't leave your side, protects you, and is the person who literally plays "tug-o-war" ( a strategy using a sheet to help push in labor, literally like playing tug-o-war) with you while you are in full blown labor is worth falling for a million times over. Just saying...

So some things I have learned during this whole process...

1. In labor, you have no control over your body, you have no modesty, and later you pretend like none of those things you said or did happened. They did though... just keep pretending.

2. Recovery is ROUGH but I prefer it over pregnancy. And even though I still dislike pregnancy, holy macaroni am I thankful that I went through it because my kid is amazing.

3. Breast is Best. If you can do it, do it. Can't explain the happy/in love feeling it leaves you with.

4. The reason new parents are not getting rest is actually because they can't stop staring at their new baby.

5. Umm... don't expect to look amazing. I love those pictures of celebrity moms who look like a million bucks with their newborns... freaking liars. I am coming to terms with my new flab.

Friday, September 20, 2013

2am Ramblings

Welp... the doctors appointment today, or I guess what would now be yesterday went as I suspected it would. No change. However I managed to lose two pounds some how. Have no idea how I did that being as I have done nothing but mope around the house all week and force myself to partake in crazy labor inducing wives tales. Obviously none of them have worked so far. So crazy how I spent 20 weeks worrying about keeping this kid in... pssh. My poor husband, I think he is more tired of this, or rather me, than I am. I can't even reach the back of my washer and dryer now and putting on shoes that have strings... forget about it. He has to be here for all of these things. I wore a pair of my Nikes the other day and went out on a little outing. The Nikes were tied when I shoved my swollen feet into them, by the time I got home, both had come untied and I had walked around in public, trying not to trip myself that way. I'm sure I looked attractive with my pregnancy waddle/anti-trip over shoe string waddle. I know...why didn't I just stop and fix them, right? A. There is no bending to tie shoes in pregnancy. B. There was no where to stop and sit and take them off and re-tie them and then shove my fat little feet back into them. C. At this point, I have given up.

Anyways... on a positive note I would like to say thanks for all of those who have been reading my rants, and the new random cats who have found my blog and pinned it on Pinterest. It means a lot to know my whining has been weirdly inspirational to some and also, even though I whine about being pregnant a lot because obviously, I really dislike being pregnant (love my kid, but hate pregnancy) I am very thankful that I have been able to carry this kid to full term, as of today, and that he is super healthy. Even if I have been driven to the edge of sanity.

Moving on....

So I, like all the million other iPhone users downloaded the new iOS 7 today and holy shit y'all for once it wasn't one of those downloads were after spending 3 hours trying to get it to finish to download you wonder, "Well, what exactly is new here? Looks the same. Clever trick Apple." Nope, it's beautiful and I am in love with it. I know... I sound so... nerdy. I can't help it, I have a thing for gadgets.
See? Doesn't it look better? And you should see all the new cool stuff that came with it. Ok. I'm done obsessing, for now.
Speaking of obsessions, another one of my obsessions has recently come back to haunt me. So I have this thing for shipwrecks and basically any other underwater find. I also have a thing for cold cases. (It's the CJ major in me) Has anyone else been keeping up with the story about the two cars/six bodies found in Oklahoma's Foss lake? If you haven't here is the Link to one of the many articles on it. I am so intrigued by this and I can not stop reading as much information as I can find on it. How did they get there? Was there foul play? And man!, will someone please post more pictures of those cars! They actually look incredible for being under for so long, I mean, I realize the water must be fresh water but still they had to be submerged in quite a bit of Oklahoma mud. Ugh! I want to become a diver with state police so bad I can not stand it. I watched a tape one time of a dive that was done in Bonito lake and even though there was nothing amazing on it, I stayed obsessed with the idea of doing that for months. I also have a huge collection of diving documentaries going. Seriously, look up the shipwrecks within the Great lakes and prepare to be amazed. Fresh water wrecks will stay almost perfect for hundreds of years. Some of them look like they could be pulled back up and sail on they are so perfect. Or they were until the great lakes experienced an outbreak in zebra mussels. Anyways... back to Foss lake, what an incredible story. I can not even imagine how the families of these people feel. It must be an incredible relief but also like opening up an old wound again. 

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

No sleep for the pregnant.

Today was another off day and unfortunately my freaking oven went out so I couldn't even bake to make myself feel better. Actually that's probably a good thing. I don't know why I do that but I should probably stop before my husband starts gaining a bunch of weight. Anyways, I moped around the house all morning and forced myself to clean and finish my homework except for one discussion but I think I'll wait a few days on that one being as how I ended up in a class with 40 procrastinators. Oh college...

This afternoon however my sweet Grammy and Grampy called to check in on me and I just about lost it. If you read this blog regularly then you know that I have a grandmother that is dealing with cancer. What started out as breast cancer has turned into full fledge, all over her body cancer. However, my Grammy is everything a strong woman should be made of. Her faith and hope amaze me and inspire me. Let me give you a little background... My Grammy is actually my stepdad's mother but I have never looked at this side of my family as step, just as mine and the same goes for them. My sister and I have always been treated as their grandchildren and they are very excited about their first great grandbaby. Grammy and Grampy are also Christians and very much involved with their faith. They are also my idol couple. Never have I ever met another couple that is so in love with one another like these two. It's like watching a romantic never ending movie when you are near them. After my first marriage ended I studied the two of them and decided that if I ever got married again, I wanted a love like that. I wanted a hardworking husband who came home and flirted and laughed with me every evening. I wanted to be a strong, supportive wife who would put the Lord and her husband first and learn to lean upon the two. Two years later when I met Joe I looked for qualities in our relationship that could resemble those I had seen in theirs and when I found them I knew that this guy was the person I was suppose to be with. Worked out pretty well I might add. Back to the story I started with... ( I do not know how I get off on these little detours.)

So Grammy and Grampy called today to see if I was any closer to bringing their great grandbaby into the world and of course... I am not because my child is stubborn just like me. To hear my Grammy's sweet little voice just tore me up though. She hardly sounded like herself and it took every thing I had to keep it together on the phone. However, we had the opportunity to pray together over my sweet boy making his appearance soon and Grammy told me she had faith God would hear our prayers. Ugh. I can barely keep it together now. This pregnancy hormonal stuff is for the birds. I am pretty sure that if Grammy has faith though that's a pretty good reason for me to as well. Also, it amazes me that with everything she is dealing with, she can still be so selfless. Melts my heart.

We have another appointment on Thursday and I am hoping they are going to tell me that there has been some change but so far nothing has changed. Everything is still completely closed and Man!, am I frustrated and uncomfortable. He still will not stay in position and every time I do all my little exercises and get him to move down, he wiggles right back up and lays sideways. After all of the things that I had to do to keep him in, you would think he would come busting out as soon as I gave him the green light, but no. Apparently he realized sometime within the last month that the outside world isn't much fun. I can't blame him really, I mean if I was hanging out in a climate controlled water bed all day I'd probably stay in too.

Also, I have been on one of my natural birth research kicks again. Has anyone else heard of delaying cord clamping? I have been reading up on how 33% of a baby's blood is still within the cord after birth and midwives and doctors are now suggesting that you should wait between 2-15 minutes or until the cord stops pulsing to clamp so that the baby receives all of it's blood back. I also read that all those babies that look a little blue after birth look that way because their cords were clamped to soon. Any suggestions, thoughts, or know anything about this? You'd think this would be a common practice but from what I read not all doctors wait. Strange.

Thursday, September 12, 2013


The ninth month should just be referred to as hell. I don't care how much you love  pregnancy, the ninth month is still just hell. I woke up this morning at 4am feeling incredibly nauseous and had so much back pain and crampiness. I laid there for about 30 minutes and then woke Joe up to time it and as soon as I as started to think, "well maybe this is it." they tapered back off again and left me feeling even more sore and miserable then I was before. So then we went to our appointment today and I asked them to check me and... nothing. No dilation, 0% effacement, and we are so freaking frustrated I can not even begin to tell you. I've been doing it all, walking, primrose oil, raspberry leaf tea, spinning babies exercises, eating weird stuff and basically every thing that people who have had babies have told me to do. Nothing y'all, absolutely nothing. I even started ripping down wallpaper in the kitchen because I convinced myself that if I get half way through a project he's probably going to show up.

 I was telling my dad on the phone the other day that maybe we jinxed ourselves when Joe named him Reeves because this kid is acting just like a Reeves- stubborn, you don't tell me, on my time, Reeves. The next 18 years should be fun for me, I am going to pay for my raisin'.

Speaking of my raisin'... I have seriously been considering saving up as much money as possible and sinking it into my old black pickup simply for the fact that when Reeves makes it to 16, I want to be able to hear what that kid is doing. I mean, do you know how hard it is to sneak out of the house when your ride sounds like a race car? Not so easy kids... and pushing that sucker to the road doesn't help so much either. Mom may not of heard it but I know Dad did. Joe is completely against this idea however, he believes and most of my family agrees that Colonel is a lost cause and the years of rust and neglect are going to be hard to come back from. However... he still starts up just fine every single time so I am holding onto a little hope.

Also... I have developed a new list of rants... I know how much you enjoy my negativity so here we go:


Ten 3rd Trimester Rants

1. If you have never been pregnant and do not have children, do not give me advice. (One would think this is common sense but no, every one has this one cousin or friend and you know what... I don't care. )


2. Do not tell me "well at least.... you fill in the blank." Ok I get it, there are women who have had harder pregnancies then I but honestly every pregnancy is different and I do not have to like it. Yes, God has given me the most precious gift and Man!, am I grateful and I tell God every day how grateful I am but the last thing I need to hear is how it could be worse and you to make me feel guilty. Just saying.


3. Forget being comfortable. There is nothing comfortable about the ninth month. However there is an over abundance of sleepless nights, feeling like you're going to piss your pants, anxiety, and the clothes... just forget clothes. I posted once before about my new hatred of pants. It hasn't gone away, but the skirt wearing has. I won't lie to you... I stay home all day and it's usually in my chonies so... don't ring my doorbell.


4. Control... or a lack of. You use to think you were in control of your body but now... nope. Get ready to laugh, cry, throw up, and feel like once again you are going to pee your pants All...At... The... Same... TIME!


5. Margaritas still sound so good.


6. The birth plan... so here is the deal... Nothing with birth is predictable but if you have a birth plan, just don't discuss it with others if you do not want what I have gotten. I am going all natural, no drugs, no nothing because 1. My spine is fused. 2. C Sec would be done under general and I don't want to be knocked out during his birth. 3. Pregnancy is not a sickness and I am not scared of pain. However, people do not understand my whole reasoning and all I do is defend, defend, defend MY choices. MY- key term here. (My husband constitutes as MY too. We are on the same page on this.) Also... I get this, you will think differently when it starts to hurt... ok yo.. 3 spinal surgeries and if my mother can do it, so can I. Watch this... I am going to prove you wrong. How? Why? Because I am still a Reeves kid, and if you tell me I can't you just gave me all the ammunition in the world to do the opposite.


7. This is such a stressful time and people take advantage of you.


8. It is so hard sometimes to remember you aren't the only one miserable here. Forgetting your husbands feelings is easy. Especially when you were blessed with a husband like mine who is so laid back about stuff.

9. I miss my feet, and my Lane peacock boots, and my Nikes and my Calvins. The swelling in the end is awful. My feet feel like they will explode.


10. "Is it ever going to end?"- This feeling is the worst. And please... do not tell me about how your first pregnancy you were three weeks over due. I'm holding on to a little bit of hope here and you are making me nervous. 

Friday, September 6, 2013

Peanut Butter and Banana sandwich and today's appointment

Husband and I got home late tonight after working on his Mom's rental property and I just knew that tonight was going to be the night that I was going to be asleep before midnight. Yet here it is 12:20 am and sleep has once again eluded me. Mainly because I could not stop thinking about a Peanut Butter and Banana sandwich and our trip to the doctor today. Mmmmm this sandwich is so good by the way, and I probably shouldn't be eating it but ehh....whatever. Dang you Elvis Presley, I would never have even realized how wonderful these are if it wasn't for my undying love for you. Anyways...

So the appointment went well today but... my stubborn child is turned sideways. Last weeks appointment he was engaged and ready for action but not now. I spent all afternoon on spinning babies learning how to do these exercises that are suppose to help turn them back and nothing yet. Although I'm pretty sure that I look absolutely ridiculous while I am exercising sooooo... I am probably not going to let other people see me doing these. As my sister said, I look like Pooh Bear exercising, stout and round. We will also be going back for another ultrasound on Tuesday. We thought we were done with that sort of thing but now we need to check his amniotic fluid and he did measure weird today. The midwife said he was measuring at 34 wks but more than likely that is just because he is in a big ball and has totally run out of room. My poor boy, and my poor belly.

 I woke up the other morning and Bam!, I look like a damn zebra. I have never seen so many stretch marks in my life. I am beginning to wonder if I traded weight gain for stretch marks. I'll be honest and I almost feel ashamed of this because every time I am asked, "How much weight have you gained?" I know the response I am going to get. Usually it's, "I hate you" or "What are you doing? Do you eat?" Anyways, so far I have gained almost 17 lbs. which is below my suggested weight gain but I made the decision early on not to change my eating habits to extremely, to only add the suggested amount. I decided this because.. Hello!, I'm only 4'10" and I know that I do not lose weight easily. Plus I needed something to be in control of because lets be honest, with pregnancy you are in control of nothing else. Although one of my midwives totally wears me out on this subject. She has tried to convince me that I need to be eating a grn chile cheese burger daily. Umm... crazy lady, the last thing I want is to eat a burger smothered in heart burn. I get heart burn when I smell the weekly batch of salsa Joe has to make each week because his life apparently depends upon it. Seriously, my husband eats more chips and salsa then any person I know. He makes it with jalapenos, he makes it with grn chile, he makes it with whatever he can find basically. He thinks we need to move out of the state of NM when I graduate but I do not think he understands that he will die when he realizes what he will be giving up. Anyways... I just realized that I am lost and have no idea what the point of this paragraph was other than to tell you all I have earned my stripes. The pregnancy brain... it's so irritating.

Moving on...

So, today I learned that yet another one of my midwives is into, "The Business of Being Born" and "Pregnant in America". If you have not seen either of these, once again I suggest you look them up. You can watch them on Hulu and Netflix and I suggest you watch them even if you are not pregnant because wow, they are such eye openers. I have watched a ridiculous amount of all sorts of documentaries and videos in the last 38 weeks but these two are by far my favorite. Really it is amazing how far a way we are from what is normal in this country. Did you know that America has the highest infant mortality rate out of the industrialized world? Yeah, we also have the most intervened births. Anyways, yesterday I posted about all my anxiety over having this baby but I love going to my appointments and talking with a midwife because I end up feeling so much better about everything. Also, I have a confession... I am really considering at this point a water birth just because I think they are unique and since I am vetoing all drugs I think this would help with a little of the discomfort. Any thoughts? Anyone out there have one? And yes.. I realize I am embracing what's left of my hippie days. I just want the most natural experience possible, especially because I have learned lately that the more natural the faster healing time most women experience. This is also important because my mother and I have been talking about a little road trip after he is born to the mountain. Which I am sure you think is probably crazy but let me explain.

Some of you may know that one of my grandmothers has cancer and it is to the point now that.. well you get it. I have this awful fear that she will never meet her very first great grandbaby and she is so excited about him. So my mom and I have been talking about taking him up there. I am sure he will be fine but I am not so sure how I will be which is why I really want to do this as natural as possible. The last thing I want is to try to take a trip with a new baby while being all sliced and diced. You know, it really sucks when you see your grandparents and great grandparents start slipping away. I think apart of you thinks you will have these people forever and then when you experience something like this, ugh, I can't even explain it. One thing I can say is, I am actually grateful my parents were teenage parents because I have known almost all my grandparents but one, my Dad's dad, and almost all my great grandparents but a few. I think it's pretty neat my baby is going to have the same thing and then some, he gets great great grandparents.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Come on Baby! Momma is going crazy!

My due date is quickly approaching and every day I keep wondering if he is going to decide if he wants out early or if he's going to make me ride it out to the very end. Something keeps telling me this kid is going to make me ride it out. Or maybe that is what I am telling myself at this point so that if he does come early I can act surprised.

 The realization that soon it will no longer be just Joe and I has really started to hit me though and I have been trying to spend as much alone time as possible with my sweet husband. I am so excited about having this baby but I'm really interested to see how it will be when our little family brings him home. Last night I told Joe, "I can't wait to actually have him laying here in between us. It's going to be great when I am not carrying him around all day in this waterbed he has." and then I panicked a little because I thought to myself, "Oh holy shit!, We are fixing to be responsible for a very tiny helpless person for real! He won't be kicking the heck out of me all day, he'll be screaming at me."

I suddenly feel very unprepared for this. I mean, his nursery is done, we have all his things, my stock pile of diapers is pretty impressive, but then there are these little things that I catch myself wondering about. Like last night I watched a video on giving a newborn a bath. Even though I remember helping bathe my little sisters I suddenly developed this fear last night that I would drop him while he was all slippery or that I had forgotten how to. Seriously, this is what I do all day. I develop these little scenarios in my head and then I research them. I really should have been working or something up until this point, this whole waiting thing is killing me. I can sit here working on homework all day long and then all of a sudden something will pop in my head and I have to stop what I am doing and research it. My poor kid, I am going to be one of those moms.

Monday, September 2, 2013

You thought I had a temper before....

So here we are... so close to the end. What we have learned so far is that pregnancy is an amazing beautiful thing. We really are amazing creatures when you consider the fact that all of this could come from just a few little cells. It's also a very interesting and sometimes an embarrassing time in a woman's life. I mean... I have had to say and do some things I never saw myself having to go through with.
That being said though, I am sure it has become quite obvious that I am not very good at being pregnant. Do I love babies? yes! Am I so excited to meet my kid I can't stand it? yes! Am I eternally grateful that God has entrusted in me to look after this precious gift? Absolutely! Is it worth it? 100% Do all of these things add up to me being able to handle pregnancy gracefully? Absolutely not.
 I am hormonal, I am a crier, and if you thought that I could fly off the handle before, you don't even need to be around me now. Seriously. My poor husband treads lightly around me these days I think. I think he realizes I am a ticking time bomb and the bigger I get, the worse it is. I have a rolling list of pet peeves that get my blood boiling, random people I have never seen before touching my belly, people who have never been pregnant or had children before giving me advice on pregnancy or telling me what I "should" do, and rude children and adults. Last night we went to Wal-Mart late so that husband could fix something on his hunting license and I almost punched a kid.
Dear Parents, teach your children about personal space. Teach them that the rudest thing you can do is push another person, especially a stranger, out of their way. That stranger could be me and at 37 wks pregnant, I'll just plead temporary insanity. Teach them manners, please. If that kid would have said, "Excuse me." I would have said, "I'm sorry I didn't see you" and moved out of the way. Instead his tatted up loud and obnoxious father got my go to hell and get your kid out of my way look. Which was so much nicer then what was about to come out of my mouth.
Anyways, with each day that goes by I am more and more ready to have this baby. We finished all our pre-baby grocery shopping today and if he is not here tomorrow I am going to finish my pre-baby freezer meals. Well maybe... I am not exactly sure where these will go being as how both of my freezers are packed! :)

Thursday, August 29, 2013

Contractions are Liars

So... now that I have told most of my family I will now tell every one else what is going on. Yesterday we were sent to the hospital because I had about a good 24 hours of solid contractions. Most of them stayed about seven minutes apart and WOWZA, did they make me sore. To make a long story short, I got in touch with my doctor's office and the nurse sent me over to the hospital to be checked out. After they convinced me I needed an IV, and then blew the veins in one arm they realized that I was not dehydrated so that wasn't the problem (even though I told them I drink over a gallon of water a day) and that my cervix was still totally closed, Reeves was not under any stress and they sent me home. Pretty lame huh? Contractions are liars.

We also learned yesterday that we still do not have a real due date because the first ultrasound tech was an idiot. (Sorry... I am holding nothing back) She puts me at being two weeks behind what we are pretty sure is my due date. I even told my midwife yesterday, "Listen here, I can tell you the exact date this kid was conceived and my last MP, your tech is a moron." and then they looked it up based on the date I gave them and were like... yeah... you are probably right, makes more sense. So... we should be at 37 weeks right now, which makes him technically full term, which makes me anxious and impatient. I am thinking about taking up running if it will help speed up this process because honestly the last thing I want to do is spend another sleepless night worrying about these stupid contractions and checking my kid's heartbeat every thirty minutes and doing a thousand kick counts because I am afraid he is going to stress out. And, also because lets face it, at this point no sleeping position is comfortable especially when you add in the faker contractions. Also, we are still assuming these faker contractions are a chain reaction from my back muscles stretching and it's only going to get worse because my belly has started to drop. This is going to be a long last few weeks.

Also... yesterday was a good first drill. I got to watch my husband in what I thought would be panic mode but no, I was more panicked then Mr. Cool, Calm, and Collected. Of course. :(

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Wife. Mom. Student. and no hunting... this will be a long fall/winter.

What a day y'all!!! So last night I could not sleep, I tossed and turned and drank sleepy time tea and took a hot shower and finally at about 5am I finally decided to take my little sleep aid and didn't wake back up till 11 am. The contractions last night were awful and I kept watching the clock to time them thinking the whole time, "Holy crap, if this turns out to be something real I am going to freak out. I am not ready for this yet, even though I really wanted to be done with this pregnancy thing.", but as always they tapered off right about the time I thought about waking up Baby Daddy. feeewww... deep breath. Don't get me wrong, I am so ready to be back in control of my body but... I haven't quite got all my pre-baby shopping, cooking, or cleaning done yet. Actually the cleaning thing will never be "done", nope not in this house.

So then at 11am I got up, took my shower and checked my canvas (online classes). Wow!, Let me just say that this semester is going to suck. I counted up all of the papers I have to write this semester between my five classes and the grand total came out too... 12! They are either 5 or 10 pages and most are single spaced. Kill me now please! How on earth am I going to get all that writing done with a brand new bambino? Ehh...this will be interesting. Also, I have an exam in 3 out of the 5 classes on my due date. My biggest nightmare may be coming true if he waits that long. By the way, my biggest nightmare is having an exam due while I am in labor. I know, I know, they would probably make an exception but really, I don't want them to have too. I don't want special treatment because I am having a baby from my professors, especially after the reactions I got last semester when I registered for these classes.

Now the best part of my day... I met a midwife that totally gets me and is obsessed with The Business of Being Born just like I am. Oh how I hope she is the one on call that day! So I found this documentary on Netflix a few weeks back and started watching it and now I'm not only obsessed but a hippie. Just kidding on the hippie part but seriously, expecting moms and those just interested in learning something new about labor and delivery in our country you should click on the link I provided. The documentary is such an eye opener. Anyways, this midwife gave me all kinds of great information and basically validated my feelings and thoughts. I am refusing all drugs at this point because I have already had the unpleasant experience of Stadol and the other drugs that the hospital offers here Nubain and Fentanyl are pretty much the same thing with Fentanyl being the lesser of the three evils. Something about putting a synthetic opioid agonist-antagonist analgesic in my body just sounds like a bad idea for me and munchkin. I mean, we have a lot of work to do that day and getting wasted off that shtuff seems like it would not be the best thing ever. Also, she did inform me that I can stay home up till the third phase and they will not hassle me to come in, I do not have to labor in a bed, the midwives would rather me labor how I feel comfortable and they have all the cool stuff I was hoping for, the bath, the ball, etc. Granted nothing goes wrong and we are forced into a C section in which we really do not want. I use to be all pro c section, lets just get this shit over with, but then I realized everything that goes into a C section and no way Jose! I think I will let God and my body take care of this one.

Hunting season is just right around the corner and I am beginning to feel sad that I am going to have to miss out. Baby Daddy received his new decoys today, (Because he only had 45 and the pros have spreads of up to a thousand so we need to have more decoys!) and for a second I thought, "Yes! just a couple more months and dove season starts the 1st!!! This is going to be the best season yet and I should probably count my ammunition stock pile and get Baby Daddy to clean my shot gun and where did I put that jacket I got last year?" Then I looked down and I saw this frazzled vision of myself. Bags under the eyes, a pile of homework, a fussy baby, dirty house... buzz kill, no hunting this season. Just kidding, by the time we get there I will probably be pushing Baby Daddy and Ti out the door so Reeves and I can have a morning alone. Also Baby Daddy ordered me an Uncle Si tea glass with his decoys. Winning. I have the best husband ever!

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

It's my crack, I am addicted.

There are two things I am all about... saving money and clothes. Obviously these two things don't go hand in hand when you like the kinds of clothes that I like. I usually stick to eBay, buying and selling but after moving into our new house all of a sudden eBay had some weird issue with my new address and it has been hell. I have pretty much given up on it. So then I started trolling the internet looking for a new way to fill my addiction. Yesterday I found it. Twice is what it is called and you have to check it out. For example look at this...
I own this sweater. Do you see how much they want for it? $19.95 when the original price was... yep you read it... $98.00. :( Anyways... I also have my ulterior motives I will admit. Every time someone uses my link to Twice < (that's the link by the way) and purchases something, I get $10. This is important! Why is this important? Because I am a saver and because my husband says I can't spend a whole bunch of money on clothes and because after this kid is born I am going to want fluffy fall sweaters. Just saying. So... go look, sign up, invite your friends and build your own credit, buy some stuff maybe, and imagine how cool it would have been if you would have come up with this genius idea yourself. I do. Man... I could have been a stylish, rich individual if I would have thought this one up. Just sayin'.

Sunday, August 11, 2013

I am either becoming a Mom or a Hippie.

Warning: STOP! Before you go any further, this blog is about giving birth. If you don't want to think about that, don't read this.

I've done a lot of worrying and stressing and ranting about being pregnant and the future birth. I will admit, sometimes I am a glass is half empty person, especially when I am uncomfortable or scared. For instance, if you ever read the blog entries on my scoli page you will see this pattern. Before surgery I was scared and mad and felt cheated out of this life that I thought I should be living. Then it happened, I had the surgery and all of a sudden this wave of clarity and relief came over me and I was suddenly this strong person that was determined and focused.

  SO... birth, what a scary thing for someone who has never given it before. It has been particularly hard to get excited about it with all these strange little issues I have had going on with my back and monitoring our son to make sure he is not going to walk down his mother's scoli or camptodactyly path. ( see bottom of post for campto explanation) Lately though I am finding a new sense of peace with all of it the more that I educate myself. I can not have an epidural because my spine is fused so I am going to have to do this all natural or I am going to have a C-section under general anesthesia, in other words, I will be out and will not remember any of it. These are my only two options. At first I thought, "Well shit! Knock me out lets make this as pain free as possible." Then I started watching all these documentaries and doing research on pain management and the drugs they can give women in labor and then it dawned on me... my body was meant for this and a c section is not the easy way out and even if it were it's also not the right choice unless we need some type of intervention. I found this documentary called, "The Business of Being Born" that I am now obsessed with. If you get the chance to watch this, you can watch it on Netflix or here:, do it. Educate yourself.

I never realized how maternity care and labor and delivery had become this traumatic experience for American women. We have so much media and doctors that are completely disconnected from this entire process. For instance, they ask interns in this film how often they learn about or see a natural birth and all of them said rarely or never. Women have been doing this for how many years and yet it seems like we no longer know how to do it the normal way. It is all so commercialized now. Hospitals are looking to fill beds and then empty them so they can be filled again. This is how they make money. This thing called designer birth has become so acceptable. Women can schedule their child's birth and then they make you believe that you have a certain amount of time to get this done.  For example:
(Thank you for this infographic)

If you are wondering who Ina May Gaskin is here is a link to Wikipedia to give you a little more information.

So anyways, after doing all this research I have come to this conclusion that the last thing I want is a C-section and the last thing I want is to be induced. I am going to try my very hardest not to ask for pain killers and hopefully if I do my husband will remind me of this but the more I think it through I feel like a natural birth is going to be the best option for my son and I. Also, there is this one thing that I have been really tossing back and forth because it makes absolutely no sense to me. Why is it that throughout pregnancy they restrict you from taking and doing all these things and then you get to the very end and they give you all these options for pain killers? It doesn't make any sense to me that they are ok with loading you up with a cocktail of drugs then but you better not take that allergy pill the day before. What?!

Maybe some of my granola is left over from my teenage days. I went through this whole hippie phase in my teenage years where I wore tie dye, bell bottoms, and my grandmother's mushroom cuff bracelet. I listened to Jimi and CCR, and basically any music I could get my paws on that came out of the Vietnam Era. I dreamed about what Woodstock or riding on Further must have been like. Seriously, if I could find them I would post pictures of what my room looked like. I had a disco ball, and peace frog posters, blow up furniture and more freaking black lights and door beads then I knew what to do with. When I first started looking into natural birth and delivering with a midwife the first thing that would flash through my mind when I thought of that was my 13 year old self in purple lens glasses and braids. But really... the farther you get into it you realize that it's really not a hippie thing, it's more of a woman thing. An empowering woman thing that should be embraced instead of feared. I hope other first time mothers will start to look into this and educate themselves on these things. 

( Remind me of how I feel right now when I actually get there. Just kidding. Kind of.)

 (For all those wondering camptodactyly is another birth defect I was born with. Basically I can not straighten my fingers because there is skin that did not stretch allowing me too. Imagine a baby keeping their hands clenched in a fist while they are in the womb and their hands developing in that position. It's very creepy sounding but I have developed ways to live with it. I type at 77 words per minute using my one good hand, my right hand, and my index finger on my left hand.)

Saturday, August 10, 2013

How my boy got his name.

So I have noticed that when I tell people my son's name I have either gotten a strange reaction or people think it's an amazing idea. I have actually caught a lot of slack over it because people believe it was my idea, like I was being vain or controlling so let me back up and tell you this first, I did not choose my son's first name. You see I thought I was being smart... I was convinced from the beginning that we were having a girl and I've been carrying around my list of secret baby girl names for awhile. Then I told my husband what they were and he hated them. So I had this idea, I told him that if we had a girl I should get to pick her first name and he could pick the middle, if we had a boy he could pick the first and I would pick the middle. Then came our 20 week ultrasound and I knew that day that I was going to be wrong. He had already had his name picked out but hadn't told me what it was going to be for sure. So after we confirmed just how wrong I was we went to lunch with the grandmas and aunts and he tells us that my son's first name will be Reeves, my maiden name. At first we were all a little shocked and I was thinking, " Oh man, people are going to think that this was my idea." I'll be honest, we Reeves are pretty proud of our last name and there is something about our attitudes and way of thinking that often lead to comments such as, "You are such a Reeves." Then he explained why he had chosen that name for our son. You know the country singer Dierks Bentley? His first name is his mother's maiden name and apparently he was given that name because his grandfather had all girls and this was his parents way of carrying on his grandfather's last name. My father, also had all girls and my husband adores my father so this was his little way of carrying on my father's last name. After he explained it I fell in love with my husband a little more. He could have easily made our son a junior but like always, he was thinking of everyone else, and not to mention my kiddo has a pretty unique name. Then came choosing his middle name, Nathaniel. Why did I pick this name? Well mainly because there isn't a whole lot that goes well with Reeves. I searched and searched, trying to fit every family name I could come up with on both sides before I finally decided that he would have a name that was all his own.

I felt the need to write this blog because I was having a conversation by text with an old friend I hadn't spoken to in quite some time when they asked what his name was going to be and when I told them they replied, "that's just like you, how does your husband feel about that?"

Saturday, August 3, 2013

Contractions are a... word that starts with B.

So, last night was a little weird. I started having contractions at a little before 20 weeks and I'm not talking Braxton Hicks, I am talking pre-term. I ended up having to quit my job and became a hermit who sits at home and bosses her poor husband around. Seriously, he is tired of my projects and unpacking, and hanging pictures. (We also moved into our new house soon after this whole thing happened) Anyways, the contractions haven't stopped but they are only intense when I overdue it. So last night when they became super intense and then very regular I was a little bit worried. They started out happening every ten minutes, then every seven, then every five for about two hours and then suddenly they went back to every ten minutes and then every thirty and then one every few hours. They have continued sporadically throughout the day but when I called the Dr. office they pretty much told me to chill out. Apparently they have a bunch of whiny first time mothers like me.

Contractions are so not fun. I love how in movies they make it seem like nothing. "Oh!, I just had a contraction, my water broke simultaneously, and five minutes later after some light screaming, Poof!, we have a baby." No... that's b.s.! Contractions make me want to punch someone or something. Not that I am trying to scare anyone, I am just being honest.

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

I've become a hermit and also I hate pants now. Is that weird?

Nesting is definitely in full force, Lord help my husband. I have developed this strange thing about leaving the house, I hate it and I can't not stop reading disturbing post birth "what they don't tell you" articles off of pinterest. Seriously y'all... are you aware of what happens after a natural birth? You know what... if you aren't don't even look it up, it's sounds like it would be better to go into blindly. I am not even worried about giving birth now, it sounds like that part is going to be the easy part. Once again, Lord help my husband, he is going to have two babies to deal with. You know, it's a good thing I married the man I did because I'll be honest, bodily functions, bodily anything really, gross me out. It's something I believe I inherited from my mother, you mention the F word (and I am not talking about the F.U.C.K. word. Also I spelt it out so that makes it ok) around her and your are going to get the sky pulled down on you.

Also, I have developed this strange hatred of pants lately. Is that weird? The most uncomfortable thing in the entire world to me is pants and I mean all pants in general. Shorts, sweats, jeans, I pretty much hate them all and I really really hate this stretchy belly band crap they put on maternity pants. I mean, I guess I see the purpose of it but when is someone going to invent them in short fat girl sizes? Seriously... My belly, even though it looks big on a person of my size, it's really not in maternity pant terms. What I am trying to say is... when you can pull that stretchy part up to your chest, it's more than serving it's purpose. And wow... has anyone else noticed how freaking hot maternity clothes are? I mean, here I am in the 102 degree desert with my stretchy shorts with a non-breathable belly thingamajiger and a shirt on top of that. As if summer wasn't hellish enough already. For the record though I do wear skirts now, as much as they are against my very nature, in case you had this vision of a short, little, fat pregnant girl running around pant-less in your head. Anyways, I think I should start designing maternity clothes for people close to my size after this.

7ish more weeks until we meet baby Reeves. Eek! So ready!

Preparing the troops

I've always worried about what it is going to be like for the fuzzies on the day that we bring a new baby home. Well that day will soon be approaching and I have been reading up and working on how to prepare  them for that day. It may sound crazy to some but, my fuzzies are just as much a part of our family as we are and obviously they are going to be spending as much time around the baby as I am. Especially being as how both dogs sleep next to our bed and are my great protectors during the day.

1. The Two Great Protectors-
I have been convinced that the dogs know something is up since early on in my pregnancy and I say this because of the level of aggression these two have suddenly developed towards strangers if I am home alone. If someone knocks on our door before I can get them outside, forget it, they are going to be eaten if I open that door because they make sure to body block me from the other person. I am interested to see if they continue to react this way when Reeves gets here. I have read that little can be done to stop this and that it is their natural instinct to protect expectant owners.

2. Baby Cries-
 I started looking up baby crying videos on youtube so that I could watch them react to the sound. Murphy could careless, Ti listens and DaBear panicks. I am afraid we may not see the cat for awhile. He absolutely does not enjoy baby noises.

3. Baby Smells-
Both of my dogs are scavengers, they go through EVERYTHING! I bring a bag home from the store and both of them will have their heads inside of it before I can turn around. It's been worse with baby stuff, Ti not only has to smell but taste everything we come home with. I am tired of washing stuff but so far they have been ok with everything.

4.Baby Toys-
The fight against Ti has already begun. He loves to sneak into Reeves' room and pluck a stuffed animal out of the basket when I am not paying attention. I have no idea how to break him of this. I have tried getting on to him, hiding toys, you name it, he still drags them out. I'm worried one day he is going to discover binkies.

5. The Nursery-
I have been super crazy lately about not wanting the cat to be familiar with the nursery and I have gotten back into the habit of locking him out of our room at night. The dogs love to go in and sleep at the foot of his crib during the day while I am in there but I freak whenever I see DaBear slinking in around the corner. I have read a million horror stories lately and I feel a little guilty for excluding him from the group but I can't help it. Poor Bear Cat. :(

Monday, July 22, 2013

Goodbye wild and crazy past, hello diapers, onesies, and stretch marks.

I've made it to the home stretch, and I am not talking about those nasty little red lines all over what I use to think were acceptable thighs or boobs. We'll get to those in a little bit and yes, I did just tell you that I now have stretch marks on my boobs. Along with patience you also lose most of your modesty during pregnancy, not that I had a whole lot of that to begin with. (Also, I just got this vision of my mother reading this and her saying out loud something like... "yeah but you still refuse to let me in the delivery room when the time comes." Sorry Momzy, in that moment I may not care who sees me delivering a watermelon but I'm sure a couple of days afterwards the reality of it will sink in. Some parts of a person's body should only be seen by the person who help put them in that condition. Just Saying)

Anyways... the purpose of this blog was to tell you that I am getting closer and closer to the end every day now and THANK YOU BABY JESUS for that because holy macaroni y'all... I might be one of the moodiest, most swollen, irritated, uncomfortable, about to tear my own spine out craziest pregnant women I've ever known. I am so tired of the, "worth it" and "well at least" speech. I totally get that it's all worth it and I am sure it could be worse, I don't even want to imagine how it could be. I have always known I wanted to be a mother but let's be honest here, MAKING A PERSON IS HARD WORK and everyone has a different experience.  I haven't slept a full night in WEEKS, I have to schedule outings very carefully because my left leg stays numb 100% of the time and to long on my feet sends a shooting pain up my spine, my back is KILLING me and I know if I feel the stress (which usually causes a couple of contractions) then I know my kid has got to feel it, and my feet only fit in shoes two sizes bigger than my normal size or in my two pair of Columbia Drainmakers. (Thank God for Columbia! Seriously guys, Columbia drainmakers are the best! I discovered them last year on my honeymoon and now I am convinced they were secretly designed for pregnant women. I normally use them to fly fish because they have drains so the water doesn't get trapped in your shoe and they are made out of this great light weight material that breathes really well. Which means swollen pregnant feet stay cool! Plus they are pretty wide, more room to swell in)

It is a strange thing to find yourself in this position. I thought before this I had a few more years of doing the things I did best. You know, running a muck, drinking ice cold beer, traveling around with my handsome husband killing stuff. (By stuff I mean animals that are in season to all you greenies that stumbled upon this blog by accident. I should worn you now, we are hunters and there are probably pictures of dead animals that we harvested on this blog. Just Saying. Also, I'm only adding this in because some "anonymous" dumbass recently left me a cute comment about how I shouldn't hunt or fish for poor defenseless animals. Umm... at least I know what's on my plate. Can you tell me what preservatives are in/on the foods you are eating?) Back to my point, it's a funny thing how I went from putting an outfit together in my head all week for Saturday night to day dreaming about what his nursery will look like when I am finished with it. And going out, sheesh, I hate leaving my house now. I would rather spend all day and night in my house. I don't like to even go into my front yard because I honestly have no interest in seeing anyone for the most part. My friends call and ask if I want to do something and I'd rather stay home and sew something or nap then leave my drive way. BUT, even though I am becoming a fat, grouchy, hermit, I am completely excited about meeting my son. It's a strange feeling when you suddenly realize that you love someone more than you could possibly love anything else (next to your spouse of course). It's a different kind of over protective, I'll kill you if you talk crap about my kid or look at him wrong kind of love. He is not even here yet and I do this weird thing  when I walk into a place... I examine the room, look to see who is there and develop a million different scenarios and escape plans in case anyone/thing could try to come at me and hurt my precious little bump. I also have taken inventory of every weapon or item that could be used as a weapon in my home just in case anyone ever tried to break into my house. Not to mention my greatest weapons have become over protective, bitey little individuals. Ti and Murph stay as close as possible to me all the time now, I am convinced they know.

Anyways... that is enough for tonight. I had this whole ending planned up but holy shit y'all I am tired! More crazy rants from the hormone driven lunatic later.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013


So I have been thinking about this child raising business a lot lately and basically I feel awful because I am afraid my kid is going to miss out on the lifestyle I grew up with. So this past weekend I was talking to my supervisor at work and she was telling me about the things she wished she had when she was a kid, like horses for example. I've been thinking about this for awhile but that moment really kind of drove it home for me. I realize now that I took my childhood for granted and it makes me sad that my kids will not grow up with the wide open spaces that I grew up with. Are my kids going to know what it's like having their Dad teach them to drive in an old 64' Chevy passed down from their great granddad on a ranch road? Or what it's like to lay awake all night listening to coyotes howl on the ridge behind the house? Or remember things like bouncing around in a feed wagon all morning helping Dad count cows and look for new fresh baldy face babies? It is really disheartening when you began to realize that way of life is basically unattainable now unless you want to be a broke cowboy working for a rich man that sees all of that as a hobby. I have this urge lately to go home to the mountains and get into my old  black pickup and just go for a cruise in the mountains the way we did when we were kids with Mom and Dad. (Tommy Dad) I know that my kids will have hunting, fishing, and camping trips, obviously, but it's sad that they won't know that you can do things like that everyday. We use to get up on Sunday mornings and Dad would tell us we were going to go for a cruise and then we would spend all day exploring the Capitan's or goofing around in Bonito. Then it came  time for me to drive and there was a whole summer that I spent in and around the Capitan Gap every single day with my best friend. Ugh!, it's just very frustrating to me that you can't have a career and live in the country all at the same time, you have to have one or the other and I don't want to sacrifice my kid's childhood.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

10 First Trimester Rants

Soon I will be entering the second trimester... here is what I have learned, decided, pretty much the things that I need to vent about concerning the first trimester.

1. I miss my clothes and my boots. Every time I put on the peacock boots that I love so much, my feet immediately swell and I cry inside.

2. I swear after this is said and done I am going to pay more attention to excersize and eating healthy because parts of my body are becoming invisible to me already from certain angles when I sit or stand and that freaks me out. I thought I'd be cool with it but nope... not cool with that.

3. Pregnancy isn't for everyone, especially people who love margaritas.

4. I love margaritas.

5. 2 kids seems like the perfect number for me.

6. Yep, my back still sucks and it seems to remind me more everyday. I use to have my back pain mentally blocked out but it's front and center these days.

7. If one more person has this conversation with me I will punch them: Person: how are you feeling? Me. Tired, grouchy, I want a nap but everything is good. Person: The fatigue will go away, it's ALL WORTH IT! ....Umm yes, I know it's worth it. In September I will be a mother, I've always wanted to be a mother, I don't need you to remind me of that right now. Maybe I like babies and not so much the first trimester of pregnancy. Shit!

8. I do not understand why new baby = mini van. For some reason people keep asking, "So, are you getting rid of your truck and getting a car?" Dude... First of all... crazy back condition, lifting a car seat up into my pickup is easier than bending down to put a baby in a car. I even tested this theory recently with a friend's kid. Second, just no. I love the truck, waited  years for the truck, probably going to drive the truck till the wheels fall off because... well because our president sucks and I give all my money to the government.

9. I think I live in my bathroom more than any other room in my house. Let's be honest, you are either contemplating throwing up or just how bad you need to pee 85% of the time. The rest of the time you're probably in the shower because your skin is suddenly super oily and sweating now happens at all temperatures.

10. I miss food. All I want to eat is fruit and sweets. Red meat tastes like metallic blood and when I see a big nice steak my stomach flips and then flops... and I die inside a little. just sucks. period. All of these preservatives make me feel worse.