I've decided that I don't want this baby to grow up, I just want him to stay tiny and cuddly forever. I could just sit here and stare at him forever. Sigh. I am going to make the worlds worst mother in law one of these days.
So adjusting to motherhood has been easier then I ever could have imagined it would be as long as I am at home (I'll explain that in the next paragraph). Adjusting to being a mother and a college student however has not been the easiest thing. So much for all of that discipline I use to have. "Due tomorrow? Do tomorrow!", Is kind of how I have been operating lately. Not because I can't find time to do it, mainly just because I CAN NOT put this baby down. He's sleeping in my lap by the way. I am typing this with one hand. No joke. Also... college professors are a bunch of... well I don't have a nice name for them right now so I will keep it to myself. I missed a quiz worth 10 points because I was in labor. It took me sending copies of emails and policies to a department head before the professor would let me take the quiz. I was told that I should have "found time" to take the quiz... the quiz that opened at midnight on the 26th and closed on midnight of the 27th. I was in active labor on the 26th, my son was born at 2:48 pm on the 27th and I was in recovery and high off my ass on all the pain killers and anesthesia they were giving me after my C-section for the rest of the day. I didn't come out of the fog till about the 29th. I have no idea when I could have possibly found time to take a 10 point quiz. Ugh.
The past few weeks have been such a whirlwind. Between all of our visitors and doctor's appointments I could just lay down and rest for a week, but obviously that is so not going to happen. I am having an issue with high blood pressure though. Turns out I have a huge issue with anxiety every time we leave the house. Who knew that going out on a simple little outing to the doctor's office could be so hectic?! For example: Did I pack everything I will need in the diaper bag? Is there enough time in between feedings? Man I hope that there are not a bunch of freshmen who can't drive out on the road this morning! These are just a few thoughts that I have every time. It's very nerve racking to leave the house for a new mom and tomorrow is going to be ridiculous because tomorrow will be the first time I have done it alone. My two weeks are finally up as far as driving go tomorrow and I have developed a plan so that I will not have to carry him in his car seat (C-section still healing) so I have decided to bite the bullet and face my fear tomorrow since Joe has to work. How do people do this with more than one child? If I am feeling crazy now I can only imagine how I would be with more than one.
So now I am going to talk about breast feeding... if you have an issue with this, please, leave my page, because obviously I do not have a problem talking about it.
This has been such an adventure already and wow... let me tell you, I was really tossed out to the wolves on this one. While we were in the hospital I was handed my baby and told that I needed to feed him. I was not given any instruction on how to or how to hold him, etc. Everything I knew I had learned from youtube because my husband and I were nervous, anxious, idiots who Googled everything and thank God for that. Seriously Joe was more of a lactation consultant then any one we saw in the hospital. I had one nurse who suggested a football hold and then left and I never saw her again. Anyways, I was then told that my newborn needed to breastfed every 4 hours and then was instructed by the pediatrician that he needed to be fed every two hours. Then they promptly scooted us out the door and we went home wondering just when the heck we should feed him. For a week we fought every two hours to get this kid to eat and he was not having it. I was about to come unglued. When we took him back for his check up they still kept insisting that he eat every two hours. Ok, honestly... if a baby does not want to eat, how do you force them to do so? You don't. Trust me. Finally when I went back to my doctor for my check up and he caught on to my high blood pressure and anxiety I told him the story and he told me to allow kiddo to eat when he was good and ready, which is about every three for him. Anyways, one would think that since we are so crazy about all this natural birth stuff now that hospital staff would also be a little more concerned on making sure that new mothers had more information on breast feeding. They were all about allowing me to try to give birth as natural as possible before we found out that I have issues with my pelvis but they were no help what so ever in helping me learn how to feed my child in the most natural way possible. What?! Insane.
We seem to have a pretty good schedule down now although I am convinced we may be going through some what of a growth spurt because feedings have suddenly been more frequent and longer these last few days and I read on the internet (once again, thank God for Google) that they usually have a little growth spurt about this time.
So what have we learned so far about breastfeeding?
1. Patience is a virtue.
2. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.
3. Husband's have a bigger role in breast feeding then they know... that is if they are the supportive type.
4. It's the most rewarding thing you can do for yourself and your child.
5. The tiny person that you just evicted is still in control of your body.
Also... I buttoned a pair of pants today. Not my skinny girl pants but a pair of pants and by no means were they comfortably buttoned but they were buttoned.