Wednesday, January 2, 2013

A New Year and a New Outlook on Old

There is something to be said about having a good marriage. Growing up knowing what divorce was like I always took marriage lightly because I always believed that there was an easy way out when things got rocky. Something happens when you become my age though and you begin to realize that divorce is only easy when you have nothing to fight for. Every morning I roll out of bed now knowing that I married my best friend and that is something to appreciate. We don't always agree on everything and being that we are both strong, opinionated people one can only assume that we won't always agree. The difference is that we are always able to come up with a solution together though and knowing that I have a partner that is willing to work on any problem we may face together is an amazing feeling. I take pride in knowing that we can make it through anything because we love each other that much. I guess I never really knew what I was looking for until he suddenly showed up into my life.

The other day we were in the pickup together driving through town and he said, "Wow, I use to go into that store all the time. Now I hardly ever go there." I replied, "You know I did too. When I lived here previously I was there all the time, usually late at night looking for a movie when I was lonely." Then he told me, "Me too. I wonder how many times we could have been in the same place at the same time without even knowing." I started thinking about it, I drove past his church every Sunday when I previously lived here and I frequented a lot of the same places he did. I wonder just how many times I was that close to him without ever knowing. The Lord certainly does work in mysterious ways, but I am sure He was saving that moment until we finally met until we were good and ready. I tell him all the time that all the things I had to go through, the bad relationships, the divorce, all those things taught me lessons that I needed to learn so that I could be a better partner for him. So I no longer look at those things in a regretful manner, instead I see the way I benefited out of each and every situation.

Insanity is defined as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. I look back and see that there was a period of my life when that definition described the majority of my actions.Then one morning, April 14, 2011, as I was sitting in my living room thinking about my life and the way it had all turned out and preparing myself for yet another back surgery as well as the one year anniversary since my divorce,  I decided that I was going to do things differently. I decided that morning that I was going to get through my back surgery and start working towards bettering myself. That meant, going back to school first and discovering who I was and not what someone else wanted me to be. Obviously that was the best decision I have ever made for myself because now here I am, three semesters away from my degree and happily married to the first guy who ever fell in love with me for who I am. A guy that doesn't put me down for my faults but instead embraces everything about me. It took only a year for me to realize who I was again and to be able to appreciate the person that I was and when that happened, the Lord sent a precious gift to me. For that I am forever grateful for all my struggles and for my rewards.

So many blessings were given to me in 2012. A week ago I wanted nothing more than to start fresh in 2013, but tonight as I was sitting there at work I was thinking back on 2012. In one year I married my best friend, I flew the coop, and started over at NMSU, we welcomed a new baby fuzzy, Tiberius, and I learned how to stand on my own two feet again. I gained new friendships that will last a lifetime and strengthened others. My family is nothing but supportive and all the little bumps in the road we have had over the years have been mended. I was also welcomed into a new loving family that is nothing but wonderful and I am excited to continue getting to know them all better. My husband introduced new hobbies into my life and I have discovered a whole new aspect of faith that I was missing out on before. Yes, there were certainly many blessing bestowed upon me in 2012.