Thursday, August 16, 2012

The end of an era...

Remember that meltdown I told you to prepare for? Well, it's basically here. Tomorrow is our last day here and I feel really weird about it. I didn't think that I was going to because I have been dreaming about the day I would leave here again for the past five years but tonight, I just feel sad. I am not sad so much about leaving Capitan but I am sad about leaving this house. I keep having these flash backs of all the good times my family and I shared here, all the fights, all the laughs, they just keep coming back. I know this isn't my only childhood home, I had one in Clayton too but this place holds a lot of memories. It just feels weird to leave behind something that you know so much about. I know how the hole was put behind the spare bathroom door, I know how the second bedroom door was cracked, I remember painting these walls a bright ass yellow with my Mom before we realized just how bright it was and had to repaint it all brown. I remember ripping the carpet out and helping Dad put down the wood floors in the living room and hallway. I remember watching my parents take the awful hanging island cabinet out that I hit my head on every time I tried to talk to my sisters across the room. I remember coming home with a broken heart and staying up all night in my parent's bedroom crying my eyes out to my Mom. To the rest of the world this might just look like some single wide trailer with weeds growing all around it, but for us it has been home and leaving home for good, is not easy.

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Prepare for a MELTDOWN

Holy shit y'all... I'm moving away from my little town for forever in 3 days. I have been preparing for this day for a long time, and now that it's almost here, I am feeling a slight touch of anxiety. Here is the thing, this place is not the place I wanted to spend my whole life at, and it does suck you in but I learned something about living here when I came back. The reason that people come back here and never leave is because this place is... peaceful. However this place is also not for the young at heart, this is the place that people come to grow old. I am so ready to go re-start my life again but at the same time these reoccurring thoughts keep popping up in the back of my mind. For example: Remember how hot it is there?, Remember how you feel about being stuck in traffic? Remember what it is like to have neighbors? And then I have to tell myself to suck it up, we (Husband, Fuzzies, and I) deserve something better than just barely getting by and the only way to get there is to do the one thing I have been dying to do, finish the degree.

Also, I have decided to become more frugal lately. I rented books yesterday for this upcoming semester..(yes rented because to buy would have been a small fortune.) ...and after I rented them a small piece of me died. Seriously... why the F are books so expensive? Can someone please explain to me why a book that has the same amount of pages, same size, etc. as one of my coffee table books cost 11 times as much? Coffee table book- $20 Spanish text book- $220 USED. Kill me now. I guarantee you I am still probably not going to be able to put together a sentence in Spanish by the end of the semester. However, I will probably have learned every bad word and slang term out there. Ok fine, that is probably not true, I really do want to learn Spanish.

Anyways, wish me luck that I don't have a massive anxiety attack, that I do not die of a heatstroke in the desert, that I do not end up with a serious case of road rage, and that I do not have a heart attack when I have to buy the rest of my books from the university bookstore. Yeah...

Sunday, August 5, 2012

And then Squirrel got another family...

So, if you keep up with me, you know that we are about to embark on a new journey to Las Cruces, however one member of our family is not going with us. My darling husband has a serious case of asthma and is allergic to my kittens. Being as how the Squirrel cat is mainly an indoor cat that spends his day lounging on the couch we decided that he deserved a better life where he could continue his luxurious lifestyle. As of this weekend he has a new family and a new little boy that loves him dearly. Seriously though, this has been like giving one of my children up for adoption but I am very happy that Squirrel has gone to a family that I know, love, and trust. As for the Bear cat, he will continue to live with us being as how DaBear has always been his own cat and does not care about being snuggled with, unless it is on his own terms.

See you around Squirrely, and thanks for all the joy you brought to my life.