My due date is quickly approaching and every day I keep wondering if he is going to decide if he wants out early or if he's going to make me ride it out to the very end. Something keeps telling me this kid is going to make me ride it out. Or maybe that is what I am telling myself at this point so that if he does come early I can act surprised.
The realization that soon it will no longer be just Joe and I has really started to hit me though and I have been trying to spend as much alone time as possible with my sweet husband. I am so excited about having this baby but I'm really interested to see how it will be when our little family brings him home. Last night I told Joe, "I can't wait to actually have him laying here in between us. It's going to be great when I am not carrying him around all day in this waterbed he has." and then I panicked a little because I thought to myself, "Oh holy shit!, We are fixing to be responsible for a very tiny helpless person for real! He won't be kicking the heck out of me all day, he'll be screaming at me."
I suddenly feel very unprepared for this. I mean, his nursery is done, we have all his things, my stock pile of diapers is pretty impressive, but then there are these little things that I catch myself wondering about. Like last night I watched a video on giving a newborn a bath. Even though I remember helping bathe my little sisters I suddenly developed this fear last night that I would drop him while he was all slippery or that I had forgotten how to. Seriously, this is what I do all day. I develop these little scenarios in my head and then I research them. I really should have been working or something up until this point, this whole waiting thing is killing me. I can sit here working on homework all day long and then all of a sudden something will pop in my head and I have to stop what I am doing and research it. My poor kid, I am going to be one of those moms.