Monday, September 30, 2013

Human Pacifier

Phew.... I'm coming up for air for a few minutes, (I have been submerged in baby cuddles and happiness) to tell you all how great this is.

So this last Wednesday night I went into the hospital because I was having some serious pains, only to be sent back home because I was only a centimeter dilated. So then I stayed up all night, thinking I was dying because the back pain went from a two to an eight in just a few hours. The next morning we found out I had dilated to a three when we went in for our doctors appointment and then my eight shot up to about a twelve on the pain scale. So we went into the hospital at about 2pm and I was at a four and in active labor. The next thing I knew was that it was Friday morning at 10 am and I had just started pushing. I pushed for four hours before they realized that Reeves was stuck and that my pelvis was not spreading. So...I got to experience the majority of natural birth and a full fledged emergency under general C-section. Ehh... honestly, I really wish I would have been able to finish out with a natural birth but I am more excited that I was able to have a happy beautiful baby. And now we know if we decide to have another in the future (far into the future) that there is only one option for us. Also... umm I would just like to suggest, if you can help it, never combining the two types of labors, recovery is a beeotch if you do.

We got to come home yesterday though and wow... I just love my kid. My little man is perfect, although I may be a little bias. I never thought I could love another human being like this, it really is a different kind of love too. Also, I am pretty sure I fell for my husband again on a whole different level then before. Something about a man that won't leave your side, protects you, and is the person who literally plays "tug-o-war" ( a strategy using a sheet to help push in labor, literally like playing tug-o-war) with you while you are in full blown labor is worth falling for a million times over. Just saying...

So some things I have learned during this whole process...

1. In labor, you have no control over your body, you have no modesty, and later you pretend like none of those things you said or did happened. They did though... just keep pretending.

2. Recovery is ROUGH but I prefer it over pregnancy. And even though I still dislike pregnancy, holy macaroni am I thankful that I went through it because my kid is amazing.

3. Breast is Best. If you can do it, do it. Can't explain the happy/in love feeling it leaves you with.

4. The reason new parents are not getting rest is actually because they can't stop staring at their new baby.

5. Umm... don't expect to look amazing. I love those pictures of celebrity moms who look like a million bucks with their newborns... freaking liars. I am coming to terms with my new flab.

Friday, September 20, 2013

2am Ramblings

Welp... the doctors appointment today, or I guess what would now be yesterday went as I suspected it would. No change. However I managed to lose two pounds some how. Have no idea how I did that being as I have done nothing but mope around the house all week and force myself to partake in crazy labor inducing wives tales. Obviously none of them have worked so far. So crazy how I spent 20 weeks worrying about keeping this kid in... pssh. My poor husband, I think he is more tired of this, or rather me, than I am. I can't even reach the back of my washer and dryer now and putting on shoes that have strings... forget about it. He has to be here for all of these things. I wore a pair of my Nikes the other day and went out on a little outing. The Nikes were tied when I shoved my swollen feet into them, by the time I got home, both had come untied and I had walked around in public, trying not to trip myself that way. I'm sure I looked attractive with my pregnancy waddle/anti-trip over shoe string waddle. I know...why didn't I just stop and fix them, right? A. There is no bending to tie shoes in pregnancy. B. There was no where to stop and sit and take them off and re-tie them and then shove my fat little feet back into them. C. At this point, I have given up.

Anyways... on a positive note I would like to say thanks for all of those who have been reading my rants, and the new random cats who have found my blog and pinned it on Pinterest. It means a lot to know my whining has been weirdly inspirational to some and also, even though I whine about being pregnant a lot because obviously, I really dislike being pregnant (love my kid, but hate pregnancy) I am very thankful that I have been able to carry this kid to full term, as of today, and that he is super healthy. Even if I have been driven to the edge of sanity.

Moving on....

So I, like all the million other iPhone users downloaded the new iOS 7 today and holy shit y'all for once it wasn't one of those downloads were after spending 3 hours trying to get it to finish to download you wonder, "Well, what exactly is new here? Looks the same. Clever trick Apple." Nope, it's beautiful and I am in love with it. I know... I sound so... nerdy. I can't help it, I have a thing for gadgets.
See? Doesn't it look better? And you should see all the new cool stuff that came with it. Ok. I'm done obsessing, for now.
Speaking of obsessions, another one of my obsessions has recently come back to haunt me. So I have this thing for shipwrecks and basically any other underwater find. I also have a thing for cold cases. (It's the CJ major in me) Has anyone else been keeping up with the story about the two cars/six bodies found in Oklahoma's Foss lake? If you haven't here is the Link to one of the many articles on it. I am so intrigued by this and I can not stop reading as much information as I can find on it. How did they get there? Was there foul play? And man!, will someone please post more pictures of those cars! They actually look incredible for being under for so long, I mean, I realize the water must be fresh water but still they had to be submerged in quite a bit of Oklahoma mud. Ugh! I want to become a diver with state police so bad I can not stand it. I watched a tape one time of a dive that was done in Bonito lake and even though there was nothing amazing on it, I stayed obsessed with the idea of doing that for months. I also have a huge collection of diving documentaries going. Seriously, look up the shipwrecks within the Great lakes and prepare to be amazed. Fresh water wrecks will stay almost perfect for hundreds of years. Some of them look like they could be pulled back up and sail on they are so perfect. Or they were until the great lakes experienced an outbreak in zebra mussels. Anyways... back to Foss lake, what an incredible story. I can not even imagine how the families of these people feel. It must be an incredible relief but also like opening up an old wound again. 

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

No sleep for the pregnant.

Today was another off day and unfortunately my freaking oven went out so I couldn't even bake to make myself feel better. Actually that's probably a good thing. I don't know why I do that but I should probably stop before my husband starts gaining a bunch of weight. Anyways, I moped around the house all morning and forced myself to clean and finish my homework except for one discussion but I think I'll wait a few days on that one being as how I ended up in a class with 40 procrastinators. Oh college...

This afternoon however my sweet Grammy and Grampy called to check in on me and I just about lost it. If you read this blog regularly then you know that I have a grandmother that is dealing with cancer. What started out as breast cancer has turned into full fledge, all over her body cancer. However, my Grammy is everything a strong woman should be made of. Her faith and hope amaze me and inspire me. Let me give you a little background... My Grammy is actually my stepdad's mother but I have never looked at this side of my family as step, just as mine and the same goes for them. My sister and I have always been treated as their grandchildren and they are very excited about their first great grandbaby. Grammy and Grampy are also Christians and very much involved with their faith. They are also my idol couple. Never have I ever met another couple that is so in love with one another like these two. It's like watching a romantic never ending movie when you are near them. After my first marriage ended I studied the two of them and decided that if I ever got married again, I wanted a love like that. I wanted a hardworking husband who came home and flirted and laughed with me every evening. I wanted to be a strong, supportive wife who would put the Lord and her husband first and learn to lean upon the two. Two years later when I met Joe I looked for qualities in our relationship that could resemble those I had seen in theirs and when I found them I knew that this guy was the person I was suppose to be with. Worked out pretty well I might add. Back to the story I started with... ( I do not know how I get off on these little detours.)

So Grammy and Grampy called today to see if I was any closer to bringing their great grandbaby into the world and of course... I am not because my child is stubborn just like me. To hear my Grammy's sweet little voice just tore me up though. She hardly sounded like herself and it took every thing I had to keep it together on the phone. However, we had the opportunity to pray together over my sweet boy making his appearance soon and Grammy told me she had faith God would hear our prayers. Ugh. I can barely keep it together now. This pregnancy hormonal stuff is for the birds. I am pretty sure that if Grammy has faith though that's a pretty good reason for me to as well. Also, it amazes me that with everything she is dealing with, she can still be so selfless. Melts my heart.

We have another appointment on Thursday and I am hoping they are going to tell me that there has been some change but so far nothing has changed. Everything is still completely closed and Man!, am I frustrated and uncomfortable. He still will not stay in position and every time I do all my little exercises and get him to move down, he wiggles right back up and lays sideways. After all of the things that I had to do to keep him in, you would think he would come busting out as soon as I gave him the green light, but no. Apparently he realized sometime within the last month that the outside world isn't much fun. I can't blame him really, I mean if I was hanging out in a climate controlled water bed all day I'd probably stay in too.

Also, I have been on one of my natural birth research kicks again. Has anyone else heard of delaying cord clamping? I have been reading up on how 33% of a baby's blood is still within the cord after birth and midwives and doctors are now suggesting that you should wait between 2-15 minutes or until the cord stops pulsing to clamp so that the baby receives all of it's blood back. I also read that all those babies that look a little blue after birth look that way because their cords were clamped to soon. Any suggestions, thoughts, or know anything about this? You'd think this would be a common practice but from what I read not all doctors wait. Strange.

Thursday, September 12, 2013


The ninth month should just be referred to as hell. I don't care how much you love  pregnancy, the ninth month is still just hell. I woke up this morning at 4am feeling incredibly nauseous and had so much back pain and crampiness. I laid there for about 30 minutes and then woke Joe up to time it and as soon as I as started to think, "well maybe this is it." they tapered back off again and left me feeling even more sore and miserable then I was before. So then we went to our appointment today and I asked them to check me and... nothing. No dilation, 0% effacement, and we are so freaking frustrated I can not even begin to tell you. I've been doing it all, walking, primrose oil, raspberry leaf tea, spinning babies exercises, eating weird stuff and basically every thing that people who have had babies have told me to do. Nothing y'all, absolutely nothing. I even started ripping down wallpaper in the kitchen because I convinced myself that if I get half way through a project he's probably going to show up.

 I was telling my dad on the phone the other day that maybe we jinxed ourselves when Joe named him Reeves because this kid is acting just like a Reeves- stubborn, you don't tell me, on my time, Reeves. The next 18 years should be fun for me, I am going to pay for my raisin'.

Speaking of my raisin'... I have seriously been considering saving up as much money as possible and sinking it into my old black pickup simply for the fact that when Reeves makes it to 16, I want to be able to hear what that kid is doing. I mean, do you know how hard it is to sneak out of the house when your ride sounds like a race car? Not so easy kids... and pushing that sucker to the road doesn't help so much either. Mom may not of heard it but I know Dad did. Joe is completely against this idea however, he believes and most of my family agrees that Colonel is a lost cause and the years of rust and neglect are going to be hard to come back from. However... he still starts up just fine every single time so I am holding onto a little hope.

Also... I have developed a new list of rants... I know how much you enjoy my negativity so here we go:


Ten 3rd Trimester Rants

1. If you have never been pregnant and do not have children, do not give me advice. (One would think this is common sense but no, every one has this one cousin or friend and you know what... I don't care. )


2. Do not tell me "well at least.... you fill in the blank." Ok I get it, there are women who have had harder pregnancies then I but honestly every pregnancy is different and I do not have to like it. Yes, God has given me the most precious gift and Man!, am I grateful and I tell God every day how grateful I am but the last thing I need to hear is how it could be worse and you to make me feel guilty. Just saying.


3. Forget being comfortable. There is nothing comfortable about the ninth month. However there is an over abundance of sleepless nights, feeling like you're going to piss your pants, anxiety, and the clothes... just forget clothes. I posted once before about my new hatred of pants. It hasn't gone away, but the skirt wearing has. I won't lie to you... I stay home all day and it's usually in my chonies so... don't ring my doorbell.


4. Control... or a lack of. You use to think you were in control of your body but now... nope. Get ready to laugh, cry, throw up, and feel like once again you are going to pee your pants All...At... The... Same... TIME!


5. Margaritas still sound so good.


6. The birth plan... so here is the deal... Nothing with birth is predictable but if you have a birth plan, just don't discuss it with others if you do not want what I have gotten. I am going all natural, no drugs, no nothing because 1. My spine is fused. 2. C Sec would be done under general and I don't want to be knocked out during his birth. 3. Pregnancy is not a sickness and I am not scared of pain. However, people do not understand my whole reasoning and all I do is defend, defend, defend MY choices. MY- key term here. (My husband constitutes as MY too. We are on the same page on this.) Also... I get this, you will think differently when it starts to hurt... ok yo.. 3 spinal surgeries and if my mother can do it, so can I. Watch this... I am going to prove you wrong. How? Why? Because I am still a Reeves kid, and if you tell me I can't you just gave me all the ammunition in the world to do the opposite.


7. This is such a stressful time and people take advantage of you.


8. It is so hard sometimes to remember you aren't the only one miserable here. Forgetting your husbands feelings is easy. Especially when you were blessed with a husband like mine who is so laid back about stuff.

9. I miss my feet, and my Lane peacock boots, and my Nikes and my Calvins. The swelling in the end is awful. My feet feel like they will explode.


10. "Is it ever going to end?"- This feeling is the worst. And please... do not tell me about how your first pregnancy you were three weeks over due. I'm holding on to a little bit of hope here and you are making me nervous. 

Friday, September 6, 2013

Peanut Butter and Banana sandwich and today's appointment

Husband and I got home late tonight after working on his Mom's rental property and I just knew that tonight was going to be the night that I was going to be asleep before midnight. Yet here it is 12:20 am and sleep has once again eluded me. Mainly because I could not stop thinking about a Peanut Butter and Banana sandwich and our trip to the doctor today. Mmmmm this sandwich is so good by the way, and I probably shouldn't be eating it but ehh....whatever. Dang you Elvis Presley, I would never have even realized how wonderful these are if it wasn't for my undying love for you. Anyways...

So the appointment went well today but... my stubborn child is turned sideways. Last weeks appointment he was engaged and ready for action but not now. I spent all afternoon on spinning babies learning how to do these exercises that are suppose to help turn them back and nothing yet. Although I'm pretty sure that I look absolutely ridiculous while I am exercising sooooo... I am probably not going to let other people see me doing these. As my sister said, I look like Pooh Bear exercising, stout and round. We will also be going back for another ultrasound on Tuesday. We thought we were done with that sort of thing but now we need to check his amniotic fluid and he did measure weird today. The midwife said he was measuring at 34 wks but more than likely that is just because he is in a big ball and has totally run out of room. My poor boy, and my poor belly.

 I woke up the other morning and Bam!, I look like a damn zebra. I have never seen so many stretch marks in my life. I am beginning to wonder if I traded weight gain for stretch marks. I'll be honest and I almost feel ashamed of this because every time I am asked, "How much weight have you gained?" I know the response I am going to get. Usually it's, "I hate you" or "What are you doing? Do you eat?" Anyways, so far I have gained almost 17 lbs. which is below my suggested weight gain but I made the decision early on not to change my eating habits to extremely, to only add the suggested amount. I decided this because.. Hello!, I'm only 4'10" and I know that I do not lose weight easily. Plus I needed something to be in control of because lets be honest, with pregnancy you are in control of nothing else. Although one of my midwives totally wears me out on this subject. She has tried to convince me that I need to be eating a grn chile cheese burger daily. Umm... crazy lady, the last thing I want is to eat a burger smothered in heart burn. I get heart burn when I smell the weekly batch of salsa Joe has to make each week because his life apparently depends upon it. Seriously, my husband eats more chips and salsa then any person I know. He makes it with jalapenos, he makes it with grn chile, he makes it with whatever he can find basically. He thinks we need to move out of the state of NM when I graduate but I do not think he understands that he will die when he realizes what he will be giving up. Anyways... I just realized that I am lost and have no idea what the point of this paragraph was other than to tell you all I have earned my stripes. The pregnancy brain... it's so irritating.

Moving on...

So, today I learned that yet another one of my midwives is into, "The Business of Being Born" and "Pregnant in America". If you have not seen either of these, once again I suggest you look them up. You can watch them on Hulu and Netflix and I suggest you watch them even if you are not pregnant because wow, they are such eye openers. I have watched a ridiculous amount of all sorts of documentaries and videos in the last 38 weeks but these two are by far my favorite. Really it is amazing how far a way we are from what is normal in this country. Did you know that America has the highest infant mortality rate out of the industrialized world? Yeah, we also have the most intervened births. Anyways, yesterday I posted about all my anxiety over having this baby but I love going to my appointments and talking with a midwife because I end up feeling so much better about everything. Also, I have a confession... I am really considering at this point a water birth just because I think they are unique and since I am vetoing all drugs I think this would help with a little of the discomfort. Any thoughts? Anyone out there have one? And yes.. I realize I am embracing what's left of my hippie days. I just want the most natural experience possible, especially because I have learned lately that the more natural the faster healing time most women experience. This is also important because my mother and I have been talking about a little road trip after he is born to the mountain. Which I am sure you think is probably crazy but let me explain.

Some of you may know that one of my grandmothers has cancer and it is to the point now that.. well you get it. I have this awful fear that she will never meet her very first great grandbaby and she is so excited about him. So my mom and I have been talking about taking him up there. I am sure he will be fine but I am not so sure how I will be which is why I really want to do this as natural as possible. The last thing I want is to try to take a trip with a new baby while being all sliced and diced. You know, it really sucks when you see your grandparents and great grandparents start slipping away. I think apart of you thinks you will have these people forever and then when you experience something like this, ugh, I can't even explain it. One thing I can say is, I am actually grateful my parents were teenage parents because I have known almost all my grandparents but one, my Dad's dad, and almost all my great grandparents but a few. I think it's pretty neat my baby is going to have the same thing and then some, he gets great great grandparents.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Come on Baby! Momma is going crazy!

My due date is quickly approaching and every day I keep wondering if he is going to decide if he wants out early or if he's going to make me ride it out to the very end. Something keeps telling me this kid is going to make me ride it out. Or maybe that is what I am telling myself at this point so that if he does come early I can act surprised.

 The realization that soon it will no longer be just Joe and I has really started to hit me though and I have been trying to spend as much alone time as possible with my sweet husband. I am so excited about having this baby but I'm really interested to see how it will be when our little family brings him home. Last night I told Joe, "I can't wait to actually have him laying here in between us. It's going to be great when I am not carrying him around all day in this waterbed he has." and then I panicked a little because I thought to myself, "Oh holy shit!, We are fixing to be responsible for a very tiny helpless person for real! He won't be kicking the heck out of me all day, he'll be screaming at me."

I suddenly feel very unprepared for this. I mean, his nursery is done, we have all his things, my stock pile of diapers is pretty impressive, but then there are these little things that I catch myself wondering about. Like last night I watched a video on giving a newborn a bath. Even though I remember helping bathe my little sisters I suddenly developed this fear last night that I would drop him while he was all slippery or that I had forgotten how to. Seriously, this is what I do all day. I develop these little scenarios in my head and then I research them. I really should have been working or something up until this point, this whole waiting thing is killing me. I can sit here working on homework all day long and then all of a sudden something will pop in my head and I have to stop what I am doing and research it. My poor kid, I am going to be one of those moms.

Monday, September 2, 2013

You thought I had a temper before....

So here we are... so close to the end. What we have learned so far is that pregnancy is an amazing beautiful thing. We really are amazing creatures when you consider the fact that all of this could come from just a few little cells. It's also a very interesting and sometimes an embarrassing time in a woman's life. I mean... I have had to say and do some things I never saw myself having to go through with.
That being said though, I am sure it has become quite obvious that I am not very good at being pregnant. Do I love babies? yes! Am I so excited to meet my kid I can't stand it? yes! Am I eternally grateful that God has entrusted in me to look after this precious gift? Absolutely! Is it worth it? 100% Do all of these things add up to me being able to handle pregnancy gracefully? Absolutely not.
 I am hormonal, I am a crier, and if you thought that I could fly off the handle before, you don't even need to be around me now. Seriously. My poor husband treads lightly around me these days I think. I think he realizes I am a ticking time bomb and the bigger I get, the worse it is. I have a rolling list of pet peeves that get my blood boiling, random people I have never seen before touching my belly, people who have never been pregnant or had children before giving me advice on pregnancy or telling me what I "should" do, and rude children and adults. Last night we went to Wal-Mart late so that husband could fix something on his hunting license and I almost punched a kid.
Dear Parents, teach your children about personal space. Teach them that the rudest thing you can do is push another person, especially a stranger, out of their way. That stranger could be me and at 37 wks pregnant, I'll just plead temporary insanity. Teach them manners, please. If that kid would have said, "Excuse me." I would have said, "I'm sorry I didn't see you" and moved out of the way. Instead his tatted up loud and obnoxious father got my go to hell and get your kid out of my way look. Which was so much nicer then what was about to come out of my mouth.
Anyways, with each day that goes by I am more and more ready to have this baby. We finished all our pre-baby grocery shopping today and if he is not here tomorrow I am going to finish my pre-baby freezer meals. Well maybe... I am not exactly sure where these will go being as how both of my freezers are packed! :)