October 1, 2009 Words of Wisdom
So I've learned a few things about marriage.... Things my mother forgot to tell me. Ladies, listen up!
A. I love my husband but... I hate men.
Even though you may love them, a husband will turn into the most annoying person you know. Ecspecially at 3 am in the morning when they are talking in their sleep, snoring, sweating, bitching because it's to hot, etc.
B. Everything changes after wedding cake.
The beautiful, clean house that you once took so much pride in you might as well forget about. Some where between his dog's hair, his paper plates, socks, xbox games, glasses, sprite cans, etc. you begin to look for clues to wether or not this was your bachelorette pad at one time. At that point, stop nagging and become irrational.
C. Say no to his dog.
Just because you said yes to him, doesn't mean you have to say yes to his inside dog. The little white dog with brown spots trying to rule my roost is fixing to move out. I worked very hard to teach my fuzzy companion to stay off my furniture. His turn to do the same thing.
D. If he can't clean his coffee stains off the cabinet....
He doesn't need to be in the kitchen.
E. Don't let him pull that, "But I took out the trash", bull shit.
I don't care what one thing his lazy ass did all day. While he took out the trash for the first time I managed to do all the laundry, dishes, floors and gave the dog a bath. Plus, I gave up my spare closet so he had some where to put his comic books and guns. Not his clothes... his comic books.
F. NEVER let the xbox move in.
Just don't! Break it if you have too...and then blame it on the damn dog. His damn dog.
This next blog makes me laugh for the simple fact that I was 19 and worried about these things. Ever wish you could go back in time and tell yourself to chill out?
November 10, 2006 I can't drive 55
Tonight I was laying here watching an episode from Sex and the City, one from the first season called, "Valley of Twenty- Something Guys". At the end of the episode Carrie is walking down the street and begins to explain how men are like a drug for women. She says that some men can bring you down and the rest bring you, "so high". So like I do after every episode of Sex and the City, I started thinking about what she said. (If you have not figured it out yet, I will go ahead and tell you, Sex and the City is like my bible.) I don't know if men are really like a drug or not, I think love is though, I think that love can be an addiction. I once read a quote somewhere that said, "I do not know if I am really in love with the men that I date. I think that I am in love with the concept of being in love and it has become an addiction for me." I think that there are a lot of women out there that are the same way and I think that at one time I was one of them. I at one time dated all the wrong guys and even though I thought that they were perfect and men that I could fall in love with, the truth was that they were never going to be Mr. Right. Mainly because they were not trying to be "Mr. Right", just "Mr. Right Now" or "Mr. I am going to stick around until you discover I am really a big jerk." I went into those relationships just wanting to fall in love, never really caring what the consequences were going to be or who they really were. I never stopped and took the time out to ask, "What do you want? Do we want the same things? Is this really going to work?" In all honesty, if your answers are not even the slightest bit similar, well then it is never going to work. I looked past all of the answers that those people had and when they broke my heart I tried to be nice about it, "Oh, we will still be the best of friends and I am here if you need a shoulder to cry on. I am sorry we never saw eye to eye, better luck next time." . I have learned that most of them turned out to be great friends even though they were not "Mr. Right". When I started the relationship that I am in now I started it with a new approach. I decided that I was just going to be up front and ask the questions that I wanted to know. After all, why should we have to spend months trying to figure a person out when it is much easier to just ask? On our first date I asked, "What are you looking for?, What do you want out of this?", and the answers he gave were straight forward and to the point. Now granted that could have been a deal breaker but it was a risk that I was more than willing to take. At only 19 years old I am already sick of beating around the bush, if I have a question I will ask it. Now I know that settling down at my age is a concept that most people find ridiculous. One of my closest male friends tells me all the time, "Trey Vern, you do not need to settle down, love is something that will always be out there. If you can find it now you can find it later." What I think though is that love will not always be so easy to find and if you have it starring you in the face, then take it and run with it. If you find somebody that is willing to share their world with you, somebody that will love you through thick and thin and never give up on you, somebody that will not put your feelings off, then give them your full heart and don't look back. Don't second guess your feelings, don't let every one else influence you, do not let your head override your heart. I have a tendency to "over think", I am constantly thinking things through until I have painted myself into a corner. I started over thinking when Brandon and I first started seeing one another and for once there is not a corner for me to paint myself into. I have yet to discover something that I do not like about him or the direction that things are going in. We may have moved fast but how fast is to fast? Is there really a time line for a relationships? One of my favorite married couples knew after only three months together that they were meant to be together. To this day they have one of the strongest relationships that I have ever seen a married couple have. Another one of my favorite couples were engaged after just two weeks of dating each other, they have been together for two years now and will tell you that they still have never even had a fight. Then there is the couple that scares me. They dated for four years and every thing was always perfect between them. They could finish one another's sentences. Three months after they were married which just so happened to be a month after when their first and only child was born they divorced. She received custody of their son, met some guy in the military and moved to the other side of the country. They had their relationship on a time line, well except for the kid being born, but anyways, it was basically on a strict schedule and now look where they are. So should we really put things on a time line? I am not saying that it works out like this for all couples. I am sure that there are probably couples out there that dated for a short time, got married, and then decided that it was not right for them. All I want to know is how fast is to fast?