Sunday, December 18, 2011

It's never to early to teach about gun safety!

So I have this friend that I sometimes look to for a little inspiration when it comes to fulfilling my blogging habit because this friend is just like me in a lot of ways, well except for being married, having children, and being one of those people that calls other people at dawn every morning. Still she is a lot like me because the story I am about to share with you is something I’d probably do if I was married with children. (Not the waking up and calling people at the butt crack of dawn though. That will NEVER happen because I hate mornings, I hate my alarm clock, and neither my iPhone or I operate between the hours of 5-8.) Anyways, I received this email the other day and I think you are going to like it. However, if you are one of those people who does not believe in raising chillins in the wild and wooly west, if you are one of those people who do not believe in teaching your children about gun safety, and  if you are one of those people who think, “You’ll shoot your eye out”,  don’t continue reading this. If you are like the rest of this that grew up in the sticks and had a Red Ryder by age five, you'll love this. By the way, I will admit that I was one of those kids that had a Red Ryder. Actually it was one of the originals and it had previously belonged to my father and my dumb five year old self left it outside one night, and it rained that night, and the gun rusted and locked up, and I will never live it down. A few years ago I got my second Red Ryder for Christmas from a good friend and when I told my Dad he said something along the lines of, "Oh, that's nice. Remember that time you left my Red Ryder outside and it rained on it and it was RUINED?!" Yes, I remember....

The setting: Walmart
The time: 6 am after a long night of packing and spending time with family.
The players: Country Mom and Country Brother in Law

CM: Oh my gosh look! They have kids BB guns! And look at the little tiny one! Oh and the pink one!
CBIL: Yeah those are pretty freakin' awesome.
CM: I think that I MUST buy them for my children!
CBIL: Yeah as long as they are supervised it should be okay.
CM: Hummmm, it does say 10 years old and up, maybe I should wait a few years.
CBIL: Eh, that's just a suggestion.
CM: Yeah, and probably mostly for just city kids right?
So... I purchase 2 BB guns... AND a giant container of BBs.

Later that same day...

12pm. The school luncheon. A Coworker (Who is from NEW YORK) strikes up a conversation with me.

Coworker: So you got any Christmas shopping left to do?
CM: Nope, as a matter of fact I wrapped it all up this morning.
Coworker: Oh yeah, you went shopping this morning before you came here?
CM: Yeah and I got my kids awesome little BB guns!
Coworker: You what? Aren't your kids like 5?
CM: Yeah, as those words came out of my mouth I realized I am a freak of nature.... I at 6 am this morning compulsively purchased my 2 year old and 6 year old BB GUNS???? WHAT THE F%&K WAS I THINKING??????

It seemed like a good idea at the time. I can already hear my son's maniacal laughter when he figures out he can ACTUALLY SHOOT SOMETHING....


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