Reconsider tradition? Nope. Not here.

Are you ready? I hope so because I am about to speak my mind.

I know it’s been awhile since my last blog post. Then again, when have I ever taken the time to post in a timely or organized fashion? ….. Yeah, never. Recently however I took a Facebook hiatus to do a little soul searching and disconnect from the world. Clearly it was the wrong time to do such a thing because shit went bat shit crazy during that time. So here I am, back again on my blog and Facebook to speak my mind. If you don’t like what I have to say then please, unfriend me and help me weed out the herd.

My post this evening is geared toward Mr. Bruce Jenner and no I will not be referring to him as “Caitlyn” because in my mind, “Caitlyn” does not exist. Let me tell you why I have such a huge problem with “Caitlyn”….

I was born a female with multiple birth defects to sixteen year old parents. I have a condition known as camptodactyly in my left hand, meaning that my left hand besides my index finger and thumb is basically useless. I was also born with a severe case of congenital scoliosis and have had three spinal fusions/hardware placement/hardware removals. I also underwent a C-section after thirty-six long hours of labor to have my baby because of all of this. If that’s not enough, let’s talk about my first pregnancy, that’s right folks, I have had a miscarriage, fibroids, ovarian cyst, and let’s talk about those super fun shots you get when you carry an Rh factor. However, apparently none of the things that I have gone through as a woman or human being compare to what Bruce Jenner had to go through to “become” a woman.  That fool is up there receiving awards, contracts, and money to run around and dress like me? What the…. You are kidding me right?

Let me tell you something… I am not perfect. I have made a lot of huge mistakes in my life. I have been divorced, I have hurt people, I drink, I cuss, and in general I just don’t care what others do but when someone makes my gender or the things I have accomplished as a WOMAN seem trivial I have a huge issue with it and I feel like you should too. I have to ask, what happened to having just a little bit of morals? At what point do people put their foot down and ask, “What the hell happened and how can we fix it?” I feel like we have gone way, way, too far.

I've got a Gypsy Soul

I have been a little bit of everywhere but here lately. In case you followed me on Facebook you may have recently noticed that I deleted my page for awhile. I have not decided whether or not I will be back on but after a lot of contemplating I decided I needed to switch things up. I began noticing that I spend a lot of time on social media and I just felt like disconnecting for awhile. I can still be found on Instagram and Twitter but I just needed to get away from Facebook. Also, I have a really hard time with all of the postings I see about children being kidnapped, or dying, or murdered on Facebook and I just could not stand to look at anymore posts like that. It's kind of funny how I inherited a bleeding heart the first time I laid eyes on my own sweet Baby Love. Now my heart just breaks every time I read about a neglected child. Not these things didn't bother me before but they really do now.

So anyways, this last weekend, Easter weekend I decided to pack up the kiddo and head off to the lake to meet up with my rowdy family. It was so nice to get away for awhile and just do something different. Unfortunately my Sugar Daddy was stuck slaving away at work and man I sure did miss him. My time at the lake was very much needed and appreciated though. I had the opportunity to hang out with some of my favorite great grandparents and my parents. It was a lot like the olden days except the fact that we were missing our sweet Grammy. Missing her is never going to get any easier I am afraid. Cancer is such a bitch, it just never stops taking away.

Anyways, during our trip we first stopped off in Capitan to have lunch with my Maw, Papa, and Nanny. I should have taken some pictures but I didn't. :( I hadn't yet realized that my camera had started working on my iPhone again. Some cute little Baby I know recently slammed my iPhone on the ground so hard that it had stopped working for awhile. After Capitan and one blow out on my parents camper though we finally made it to Grandma Mae and Grumpy Grandpa's house so we could load them up and head to the lake. While there I was able to snap this sweet photo after noticing my camera feature miraculously started working again.... 

Here Baby is examining Grammy's memorial garden at Grandma Mae's. I love everything about this picture. Ugh and man does it make me miss her even more.

I also took a moment to run down the hill and visit my Gypsy Streak. If you have been reading for awhile you know that my husband and I purchased my great grandparents 1966 Silver Streak from them a year ago. I have grand plans to bring my sweet little Glamper back to life and it is a good thing I married such a skilled and amazing contractor to help me with this project because let me tell you, my Silver Gypsy needs a ton of TLC! We are still undecided on whether we want to continue stripping her down completely, changing the floor plans and everything or build off of what can be salvaged. Whatever happens though, I just know she will be a sight to behold one day.

This is one of my favorite features on her! Yes that is in fact a real screen door! So fun.

And look at that butt! I love, love, love the double taillights and storage compartment. Such a retro feel going on. Tonight while doing more research I located a guy who is licenses to replicate her original emblems that were lost during a hail storm.

I feel incredibly lucky to own such a nostalgic piece of history no matter what shape she is in now and I know that I have a lot of dreams and hard work ahead of me to make her into what I want but I am so in love with this thing I do not even care.The first time I ever laid eyes upon her I knew that I had to have her. I am hoping that by next year she will be road and camp worthy because she turns 50 next year. Also, in all of my research I am learning that she is very rare. For every hundred remodeled Airstream I find, I find maybe one Silver Streak.

We finally made it to the lake though and the first morning Dad and I headed up to the river to start putting in trot lines. This was the first time that I have ever gotten to go up and set lines and I have to say, I am really grateful to have parents that have always been teachers. This one here especially has always gone out of his way to teach me something new. I am pretty sure that I could survive in the wild because of all of the things that this guy has taught me throughout my lifetime. It was just really nice to spend time with my Dad. When I am around him I get to be my 10 year old tomboy self again.

Check out some of the monsters that we caught! Mmmmhmmmm! Tasty, tasty, little catfish! I can taste Grandma Mae's Christmas catfish dinner now!

It was also nice to just hang out and drink a few beers with Grumpy Grandpa and Grandma Mae, talk fishing, and Glamper plans. I love these two because at 92 and 85 they are both little firecrackers.

And speaking of little firecrackers... my cute little Man Cub hunted Easter eggs while we there and spent a whole lot of time being spoiled rotten by his Nana. My Mom, the Nana, went a little crazy with this one and trust me, he didn't mind at all.

On the way home Baby and I stopped back in Capitan to visit with Maw, Nanny, Papa, and my aunt Sissy again. I love being home in the mountains and seeing my sweet Baby interact with my family. Baby has a huge love affair going on with anything that flies, planes, helicopters, birds, etc. which works out perfectly because Papa has a collection of flying toys. Every time we are there he gets out a remote controlled helicopter or hover craft and flies them around the house while baby sits and watches. It's so adorable.

On a heavier note, my husband's sweet grandmother passed away today so we will be taking off to the City of Crosses as soon as service plans have been made. My heart hurts for my little family tonight even though we all know she is in such a better place now. Losing grandparents is such a hard thing. If you still have them, make sure you spend every moment you can with them. I know that I would give anything to spend just one more day with the ones that I have lost.

The Return of Fatty McFat Cat

Hello Everybody! I know... once again it has been awhile since I sat down and blogged. Life has been... chaotic lately. We have had it a little rough these last few months and then some but finally we are beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Or at least I hope we are.

In the beginning of January we moved back to good ol' New Mexico and the first thing we did is walk into a flooded rental home. *Sigh* what a way to welcome us back New Mexico! On this same night Baby Daddy went slipping and sliding out the back door and down the back porch steps and broke his ankle, just two days before he was supposed to start his new job. Thankfully he was put on a medical leave so he didn't loose his job but that also meant no real income flowing in. Thankfully we had just enough in savings to get by but that savings was meant to start looking to purchase a place so we are back at square one but hoping and praying we can get back on our feet again soon so we can purchase our first home together and stop all this moving and renting because let's face it, no one wants to hear me whine and moan about moving again any time soo! I am kind of tired of it myself. Baby Daddy had his cast removed yesterday and is now in a walking boot. Hopefully he will be back at work soon, for his sake mainly. Homeskillet was about to drive me crazy with all his stir craziness.

All of this moving has been super hard on my back so this last week I finally sucked it up and we took a trip to ABQ to see my specialist. I was afraid that I was developing symptoms for Flatback syndrome which is something those of us with Harrington rods are at a big risk for but it turns out that I have actually developed a case of radiculopathy which is a big word meaning I have a whole bunch of nerve damage. In order to treat it I am going to start physical therapy and go back to ABQ in May so we can determine whether or not that is helping. If it doesn't then my Dr. wants to start medication or injections. Both of which I am not down with sooo.... pray the PT helps! I have had some of the injections before and did not enjoy them one single bit.

The trip was nice though. It was nice to just get away for a day and be away from everything that has been happening here. Plus some Baby I know got to live it up at Toys R Us, Baby Daddy made a trip to Sportsman's and Charlies and of course, I could not resist a trip to Sephora for the new Tarte Tartelette palette that I have been dying to have! Funny how as soon as you move back into rural America you pick up old habits again. Like saving up all of your shopping for the moment you get to "go to town".

Baby Love is busy teething and talking and has recently started walking more. He is a late bloomer in the walking department. When we lived in Texas he had started learning to walk but one day he had a pretty bad fall on our tile floor which resulted in him deciding that crawling was much easier and safer. I am not sure if I am ready for this though. This walking business is opening a whole new world and more things to climb on that he didn't really notice before. I have a lot of issues lately with him getting so big. Where has the time gone? I feel like it's flying by!

In other news... the chosen one has returned to us!

While Baby, Ti, and I are soooo excited to have him home Daddy is not as excited.

Baby Daddy: WHAT?! Why is your mom bringing the cat?
Me: He's my cat! Why wouldn't she?
Baby Daddy: Because we GAVE him to her.
Me: No we did not!
Baby Daddy: Well I did.

I guess he is a little more accepting this week. I did catch him singing his version of soft kitty to DaBear the other night.

Baby Daddy: Fat Kitty, Round kitty, Little ball of laaarrrdddd.
Me:What are you doing?
Baby Daddy: letting him know how I feel about him.

Too Faced

Let's be honest here, I have a serious problem or more of a serious obsession...

with makeup. Well mostly Too Faced products. So whenever the new Semi Sweet Chocolate Bar was announced I was ecstatic. As soon as I could order it on Sephora I did and then I waited, and waited, and waited. Finally today it arrived and....

it looked like this. Actually not even like this. This is after I spent forever cleaning it up. Actually it looked like a black sandy mess when I first opened the box. Whoever packed this needs to relearn how to pack a palette that is going to be shipped across the country. Seriously, there wasn't any packing material in the box except one tiny square of bubble wrap on the bottom of the box. Come on Sephora! Ugh! They are sending me another and lets hope that this time it makes it all in one piece. The waiting again is going to be killer though. So disappointing. I know.. no one probably actually cares about this except my select few friends that are also makeup hoarders. Not everyone has had the opportunity to have their lives changed by a Chocolate Bar. :)

Anyways, we are on the home stretch as far as moving goes now. All of the last of our stuff is pretty much in the trailer but we have been iced in by the ice storm going on here in Odessa. Also let's talk about this ice storm business for a second. I thought people were messing around with me when they told me that they receive these here. Ice storms are a little frightening. I can drive in the snow, the rain, you name it but there is no way I am leaving my little niche in this stuff again. This whole thing doesn't even make sense to me or Baby Daddy. We both are having a hard time understanding how it could be so cold here, with some kind of moisture falling from the sky yet, it's not snow. Shouldn't it be snow? (Don't start rattling off a bunch of meteorology jargon to me either. Just let me have my rant.) And drivers... ok, I thought that Texas drivers were scary before... this is like Ruidoso after a snowstorm during Christmas break times fifty when they are all coming off the ski mountain and no one owns a four wheel drive. Just saying. I have to get out of here ASAP.

Also, would you like to hear a fun story.... According to my neighbor we literally dodged a bullet a few nights ago. While we were in New Mexico someone decided to go up and down our street and shoot every one's vehicles up. Thankfully we had both of our pickups with us and they missed Baby Daddy's work pickup but man... I am going to be so glad to be out of this place in a few days. (And we live in the nice part of town!) 

Cue Phil Collins... So take, take me home.....

The semester is over! Thank you Baby Jesus! Now the fun part begins... moving.

"I'm going to burn all of this $h!t to the ground next time we have to move because I AM NOT moving all of these things again.", I say this every single time we get ready to move and every time we move guess what happens.....nothing. I pack every single little nic-nac and useless item we own. *banging head on desk* Why? Why must we have so many things? It is a little alarming to me that we own enough crap to fill a three bedroom house yet we do not actually own a three bedroom house. Also, Baby Daddy and I have been married two years and have lived in four houses. FOUR kids! F-O-U-R! About to be five. We must enjoy this sick punishment in which we keep dealing out to ourselves. I don't have any other way to explain it. *sigh*However we did find a house....

There it is... can you see it? Hehe. So our "new house" is actually very old and in need of some SERIOUS t.l.c. but before we discuss what is wrong with this house lets talk about what is awesome about this house. First of all, do you see my neighbors? No? Oh... that's right... I DO NOT HAVE NEIGHBORS. Well not "real" neighbors. I mean people live down the road from us but not close enough that my dogs are going to go bat shit crazy every time one of them walks outside of their house.  Not close enough that I have to hear them walking past my bedroom windows with their idiot girlfriend who laughs like a dolphin at all hours of the night. No... my neighbors are cows and cranes and Canadian geese (depending on the time of the year), and quite frankly I enjoy listening to them. If you are wondering about all of that blank space around us, that is the cotton field that my house sits in the middle of. We were lucky enough to find a rental right smack dab in the middle of a farm.

Also price was a major deciding factor. Well not really, I was probably going to go with this anyways but we will be paying $1,200 less every month compared to our current house and almost all of our utilities are included in our rent. So yeah.... Odessa rentals are a RIP OFF.

We also really loved this house because they are down with us parking all of our crap, three vehicles, the glamper, Baby Daddy's trailer, and they are cool with all of my Fuzzies! That means it is time for my Junk Yard Cat to come home! I am so happy to have my DaBear kitten back and I am pretty sure my parents are ready too. Well... maybe Mom. Surprisingly Dad is objecting to this because they are now officially "buddies".

However, I have to admit that even with all of the things that we are looking forward to, there are some negatives to this house. For one it is super small. Most of our things are going to storage which isn't entirely bad because honestly I have wanted to get rid of a lot of things but we will have to pay for a storage until we can whittle all of the things down. Also the house is not in great shape. It needs new flooring throughout the whole house and we are going to have to paint it at some point. Who ever lived there previously tried to cover up stuff on the walls by taking glossy white paint and painting over whatever it was on what is more of a matte white so there are awful looking paint marks everywhere and if you have ever walked into a house with my husband you would know that things like this drive the contractor in him absolutely CRAZY. The good news is, the farmer that owns the house has given me the green light to do whatever I want and if you know me, then you know that I have an obsession with painting. The poor Capitan house was constantly being painted.

The other con is... we live across the road from a dairy. Well, it's not that big of a con if you consider how great the dove hunting will be right there basically out our back door but the smell. Eek. That should be interesting. I keep thinking to myself, "Self, you grew up in Clayton, not even that... you grew up spending all of your out of school/away from the ranch time with your Dad either in a corn field cutting silage or in the semi at the feedlot this should be like coming home." I am also a little worried about how my husband will end up feeling about this. Even though he is rugged and outdoorsy I am not sure how he will adapt to this detail. Hopefully well because I am NOT moving back into town.

On another note... BabyLove and I decided to start a new tradition together. After lots of Pinterest research we decided to start a 12 Nights of Christmas reading tradition. I purchased 12 Christmas books and wrapped each. Every night starting on December 12th Baby chooses one and unwraps it so I can read it to him. So far it has been so much fun and I think he is really enjoying it. On the first night we read "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer's Slide and Find".

Daddy and Tiberius helped pick out the first book.

He loves interactive books... 

And the Island of Misfit toys train and plane. (of course)

Tonight was our second night and unfortunately Daddy wasn't able to be home because he ended up working late. Tiberius was still an excellent helper and listened to us read, "The Polar Bear who Saved Christmas"

He opened this one all by himself after I got it started for him. Momma tends to go a little crazy with the tape. 

Little Smarty Pants Kid! 

This was such a fun book! 

It worked out perfectly that we started this on the 12th. Apparently I still suck at math because my husband pointed out to me that we would actually be done on the 23rd with all of our books and not on the 24th like I was thinking but we open presents on Christmas Eve so he will be to busy with new toys and will not care about reading I assume. Stay tuned for more 12 Nights of Christmas reading posts. I was able to find some pretty neat books this year!

#575 #505 ... For life yo!

I've been on a little bit of a blogging hiatus lately because things have been super busy. Also, I'm a little bit lazy. My apologies. Between school, raising a one year old (Note: I have yet to come to terms with this.), Baby Daddy's work schedule, and being stuck in Tex-ass I just haven't found the energy to sit down and write. This month has also been a little hard for me. A year ago we lost our sweet Grammy and it still feels like it was yesterday because not only am I lazy, I'm also really, really, really bad at mourning.

So...let's catch up!

Bam! Those are my grades right now. With roughly 46 days left out of about 110  I am kind of patting myself on the back right now. Let me tell you... it has been a struggle. Do you know what's harder then going to school with a newborn? Going to school with a one year old, obviously. My sweet little boy is EVERYWHERE! In fact if he were here right now this blog would look like this... jljg liYA;OYzriysiY'V$ua"ciyYA'VU4" u"ouvvvcUDOKH;Ok Y"oy. Do you know why? Because the Smarty Pants has recently discovered that Momma's laptop is the coolest thing EVER and also not something he is allowed to play with. Which makes it that much cooler. Thankfully he is snug in his bed with his little Max the Raccoon and Pooh Bear!

Speaking of the Smarty Pants, let us now address the elephant in the room. The fact that I am now a mother of a one year old. Let me tell you folks... I never in a million years imagined this. I imagined myself pregnant once, I imagined myself with a baby, but now I am freaking out. Holy shit y'all... I have a one year old. One of these days I'll have a five year old and then ... a teenager. It's a strange feeling to wake up and wonder how your parents did it. Also, if I am about to pay for my raising which I think I am, I would just like to offer my parents an apology for being such a brat. I called my Dad and Step-Mom the other night so I could wish my Step-Mom a happy birthday and while I was on the phone with my Dad I told him about Reeves recent little defiant streak he's been going through. Baby thinks that it is hilarious to feed the dogs. Being as how Murphy has the most sensitive stomach ever I try to keep an eye on this. The other day I told Baby not to feed the dogs and I know he knows what this means. We have been over it a million times. So what does he do... he picks up another piece of pasta and throws it on the ground while staring me down.  Do you know what my Dad had to say about this... he laughed and said... "Yessss.... it's a beautiful thing Baby!" I have to admit though... I am a little excited my kid exhibits so much of my personality because I am hoping it makes him tough and stubborn. I hope that my son will be the kind of person that never let's anyone walk all over him and he'll be brave enough to stand up for himself and others. My own little John Wayne.

So now I am going to be really real with you guys... You may already know this about me but here we go.... I. hate. Texas. It's true. I came here with an open mind but I'm not impressed. Here is the thing, Baby Daddy has an awesome job here that has allowed me to stay home and focus on Baby Love and school and for that we are so grateful but come on... this place is not my favorite. Here are some of the reasons why I am NOT in love with this place:

1.Public Land (or lack of)- Come on y'all! There isn't anywhere to hunt here and you want me to pay how much for a lease??? Maybe I am spoiled rotten after growing up in my little mountain paradise or my HiLo country but you have to admit, this is ridiculous. I was under the impression y'all loved to kill shit.
2. Gun laws- Do I really need to go into this? I will give you a little cred on the whole castle law thing but otherwise...
3. Texas highways/drivers- What is up with all of these frontage roads. Can't we be consistent? Also... blinkers! They are useful, they could save your life, use them.
4. Sports and Shopping- Ok I do love shopping but there isn't anything else better to do here and after awhile it get's old.
5. Let's just admit it... if Texas was so wonderful Texans wouldn't spend their weekends traveling to New Mexico. (Credit for this one goes to my husband for recently pointing it out to me.)
6. Area Codes- I come from the land that has two... I am SO confused with all these damn area codes!

I'm going to stop there before I get myself in trouble. Basically I just miss my state. This is the first time I have ever lived outside of New Mexico and it will be the last. It's just to far from family and home and quite frankly, we don't feel comfortable here.We like to hunt and fish, we like to take a drive up the mountain on a Sunday morning and not have to worry about traffic and a million other people.

Anyways... that's how I feel about that.

As for missing Grammy, it's not getting any easier. In fact it seems like it's getting harder. It kind of feels like someone just keeps ripping the band-aid off every time we all think it's going to be ok.

8/14/2014

Crazy things have been happening here at Casa de Lopez lately. For one... BabyLove thinks he is a grown up these days. What?! Where has the time gone? Pretty soon my sweet little babe will be a year old and his mother is still trying to figure out how we got here so fast. Wasn't it just yesterday that we brought him home from the hospital? Wasn't it just yesterday that I spent every extra moment that I wasn't screeching and freaking out apologizing to my nurses and midwives for screaming out the F word over and over again? Wasn't it just yesterday that I was certain those 36 hours of waiting, and pain, and hallucinating were never going to end? Wasn't it just yesterday I was asking God to please let me meet my BabyLove face to face? For the record... as crazy and painful as that whole experience was, it was still the best 36 hours of my life because I learned so much about myself, my loving, loyal, strong husband, and my amazingly tough kid. Also... has anyone else ever reached a level of pain in which they began to hallucinate? That was the craziest experience of my life and something that I did not even know was possible. With all of my back surgeries I have never been that out of it.

Anyways... speaking of painful situations... BabyLove has finally pushed that first little tooth through and the second one is almost there. We have had a few bad days and nights but really, he has been pretty tough. I however have been a big ball of emotions. He is beginning to look more and more like a little boy and less like a baby boy. Tonight Baby Daddy said... "I just can't believe how much he has changed. He doesn't even remind me of the baby we brought home." Well yeah... because he is every where these days! We have a really long hallway in our house and no joke the kid can crawl down it within just seconds and he pulls up on everything. In just the last few days he has began trying to stand from a seated position without pulling up on anything. The personality and attitude he has developed is also something else...

Generally he is a very happy baby but I will admit that he most definitely has a Reeves' temper. I was really hoping he would be laid back like his Daddy but unfortunately he is just like his Momma in that department. Either way... he is still the most amazing person I know.

School will be starting soon and I recently received all of my books in the mail! (and a new NMSU sweater because obviously I needed another one to go with all of the others.)

I am a little nervous about how this semester is going to go but I am trying to stay ahead by reading as much as I can now. The other night I was laying in bed reading when Baby Daddy came in and made fun of me for it. 

Baby Daddy: What are you reading?

Me: A book about teaching to juveniles behind bars.

Baby Daddy: Are you going to teach to juveniles behind bars? 

Me: Well I wasn't planning on it but it does seem interesting, I think I could probably actually enjoy a job like that. 

Baby Daddy: Doesn't sound interesting. Sounds like a bad idea. Where did you even get this book from? 

Me: It's one of my textbooks for a special topics class. 

Baby Daddy: Wait.... you are reading a textbook? 

Me: Yes.

Baby Daddy: School hasn't even started yet. 

Me: I know. 

Baby Daddy: Wow.... you are like the biggest nerd I know. 

Me: Hey now! 

Baby Daddy: Nope it's official... I married a nerd. My wife is a nerd. 

Me: Shut it. 

Baby Daddy: Whateva.... nerd. 

He thinks he is sooo clever. Anyways... like I was saying, I am nervous because my child is so active these days and I am not sure if I am prepared yet for all of the sleepless study nights that are ahead of me. I have to keep reminding myself... "Self... you are SOOOOOO close to the end."