The end of an era...

Remember that meltdown I told you to prepare for? Well, it's basically here. Tomorrow is our last day here and I feel really weird about it. I didn't think that I was going to because I have been dreaming about the day I would leave here again for the past five years but tonight, I just feel sad. I am not sad so much about leaving Capitan but I am sad about leaving this house. I keep having these flash backs of all the good times my family and I shared here, all the fights, all the laughs, they just keep coming back. I know this isn't my only childhood home, I had one in Clayton too but this place holds a lot of memories. It just feels weird to leave behind something that you know so much about. I know how the hole was put behind the spare bathroom door, I know how the second bedroom door was cracked, I remember painting these walls a bright ass yellow with my Mom before we realized just how bright it was and had to repaint it all brown. I remember ripping the carpet out and helping Dad put down the wood floors in the living room and hallway. I remember watching my parents take the awful hanging island cabinet out that I hit my head on every time I tried to talk to my sisters across the room. I remember coming home with a broken heart and staying up all night in my parent's bedroom crying my eyes out to my Mom. To the rest of the world this might just look like some single wide trailer with weeds growing all around it, but for us it has been home and leaving home for good, is not easy.

Prepare for a MELTDOWN

Holy shit y'all... I'm moving away from my little town for forever in 3 days. I have been preparing for this day for a long time, and now that it's almost here, I am feeling a slight touch of anxiety. Here is the thing, this place is not the place I wanted to spend my whole life at, and it does suck you in but I learned something about living here when I came back. The reason that people come back here and never leave is because this place is... peaceful. However this place is also not for the young at heart, this is the place that people come to grow old. I am so ready to go re-start my life again but at the same time these reoccurring thoughts keep popping up in the back of my mind. For example: Remember how hot it is there?, Remember how you feel about being stuck in traffic? Remember what it is like to have neighbors? And then I have to tell myself to suck it up, we (Husband, Fuzzies, and I) deserve something better than just barely getting by and the only way to get there is to do the one thing I have been dying to do, finish the degree.

Also, I have decided to become more frugal lately. I rented books yesterday for this upcoming semester..(yes rented because to buy would have been a small fortune.) ...and after I rented them a small piece of me died. Seriously... why the F are books so expensive? Can someone please explain to me why a book that has the same amount of pages, same size, etc. as one of my coffee table books cost 11 times as much? Coffee table book- $20 Spanish text book- $220 USED. Kill me now. I guarantee you I am still probably not going to be able to put together a sentence in Spanish by the end of the semester. However, I will probably have learned every bad word and slang term out there. Ok fine, that is probably not true, I really do want to learn Spanish.

Anyways, wish me luck that I don't have a massive anxiety attack, that I do not die of a heatstroke in the desert, that I do not end up with a serious case of road rage, and that I do not have a heart attack when I have to buy the rest of my books from the university bookstore. Yeah...

And then Squirrel got another family...

So, if you keep up with me, you know that we are about to embark on a new journey to Las Cruces, however one member of our family is not going with us. My darling husband has a serious case of asthma and is allergic to my kittens. Being as how the Squirrel cat is mainly an indoor cat that spends his day lounging on the couch we decided that he deserved a better life where he could continue his luxurious lifestyle. As of this weekend he has a new family and a new little boy that loves him dearly. Seriously though, this has been like giving one of my children up for adoption but I am very happy that Squirrel has gone to a family that I know, love, and trust. As for the Bear cat, he will continue to live with us being as how DaBear has always been his own cat and does not care about being snuggled with, unless it is on his own terms.

See you around Squirrely, and thanks for all the joy you brought to my life.

Catching Up

I have been a little MIA here lately! Turns out that married life is a busy life. So here is what I have been up to lately....

First off, I did this...

That's me kissing the man of my dreams on our wedding day. :) It was memorable to say the least, and when I say that I mean, our wedding took the cake on disastrous weddings. We had a fire, the beginning of a flood, it was late, our photographer was late, the cake fell. Basically, it was a wedding that no one will ever forget. All in all though, it was great because I said, "I do" to the greatest gift that God has ever given me and now I get to spend the rest of my life with a hot duck hunter/fly fisherman. 

And then, we did this....

That is my hot husband fishing the upper East fork of the San Juan river during our fabulous honeymoon in Pagosa Springs, CO. We fished, we soaked in the Hot springs, I had a spa day, we drank margaritas, we did some sight seeing, and met a couple of cute chipmunks.

I named him Fred and wanted to bring him home, but the husband said no. Sad Face. 

So then we went here...

That would be my sisters, and that would be the one and only Clayton lake. We went to Clayton and then spent the evening hanging out with the sisters and Dad, fishing, and giggling about old times. Oh, and then we got to watch Dad break the end off of his sweet Zebco after he drug it down the hill talking trash about our fly rods. Haha Dad, ... Ha...Ha. :)

So then we came home, and got stuff ready so we could move back to the desert...

Welcome to our sweet little newlywed home! The house in which we will spend the first year of our married life in, in which my husband has a new fly tying/ duck hunting room and I have a room designated as my closet. Also, we may die of heat stroke in this house. Desert + Swamp Cooler with one speed = Death by heat stroke.

And then I did this...

This is my new Etsy shop! You should check it out! 

(Click here) JadedWomensJewelry

10 days!

In 10 days I am getting married. I never in a million years saw this one coming and thank God I didn't because this was the best surprise that He has bestowed upon me. I am so grateful for finally knowing exactly what it feels like to love and be loved unconditionally in return. I am grateful for knowing what it is like to find a friend in my partner. I find the circumstances that led Joseph and I to be together quite comical. When we first met in September I put him in the friend file. Neither of us were really looking for anything at the time and because he never made a move and was very careful about respecting me and my space I was sure that nothing except for friendship would happen between us. I kept hoping that it would change but after a couple of months I let it go. So much so that I even started wearing my baggie old ratty sweats and stopped wearing makeup around the house when he would come by after work to have a couple of beers and discuss evolution or help me with my math problems. How he ever found me attractive through that, I do not know. Seriously guys, I looked like a career college kid with a 7:30 am class. You know, the kind that roll out of bed, tie their hair up in a knot and wander into class? That was me. Yet somehow, through even that, he found me attractive and kissed me in the living room one night when I least expected it. 10 months later, I still look like a career college kid every day after work, he still kisses me in the living room, and we still argue over evolution and math but he's moved out of my friend file and into my forever file. Holy macaroni, that last sentence was lame. Just forget you read that. Apparently marrying your soul mate makes you mushy as hell.

This is probably something that I should not bring up but I am an open book who can not help but share my thoughts and feelings. The other night I was watching my sweet fiance doze off on the couch and I began to think back to my previous marriage. I know now that the feelings that I had then were always a warning sign. I always knew in the back of my mind that there was something that was not right and I did my best to suppress that thought, trying to make it work. When I look at the man I am fixing to build this new life with though, I do not worry about what will happen, all I see is the future that we will have together. The best lessons that I ever learned were lessons I learned from my previous marriage and I am truly grateful for learning those lessons so that I can be the person that Joseph needs to me, the person that I need to be. It is truly amazing to me the things that life teaches us along the way. I no longer regret any of the things that brought me to where I am today because those things are what put me on this road.

My father has spent a lot of time over the last eight years lecturing me about the way I should do certain things. Even though I have always taken in and appreciated his words, I am glad that I put myself in the position I did to learn all of my lessons the hard way and my way. I hope that the things I have learned will make me into a better wife and friend to my soon to be husband.

Just a little bragging

What a summer this has been so far! I will admit that I am tired and stressed out but so excited for the things that are fixing to take place.

First off... in 12 days I am marrying my best friend in a small little ceremony in Smokey Bear Park! I wish that it was the 16th already so that we could begin our new journey together.

I'm so excited to start a life with this guy! 

Honestly I can not begin to tell you how happy this cat makes me. I was blessed the day that I met him. 

Second... I am officially an NMSU Aggie again! 

I can not begin to tell you how happy I am about this! I am only a few semesters away from a bachelors in Criminal Justice and then I will start working towards my masters! Thank you Jesus for this opportunity!

Also, I feel the need to share how grateful I am to have met a man that understands how important finishing my degree is to me. He is very supportive when it comes to my education and I love how he is always there to give me an extra push when I feel like giving up. I am incredibly happy that I have his support and that I found a man that is so unselfish and willing to stand by me through anything.

Third... Little Tiberius is growing like a weed. We had to break down and by the little man a pool the other night. I think we are going to have a great hunting partner, he is learning so fast! And he loves the water! 

Fourth.... Murph has adapted so well with having a new baby in the house. He and Ti have become BFF's and wherever Murph is, Ti is right behind him. As of this week though Ti is the same size as Murph! Good thing he got his bluff in on him! Although they have been in a lot of trouble together lately. For example, the other day they both had baths and by baths I mean, the bath, brushing, blow drying, fluffing, etc. and then... Murphy rolled Ti around the yard in the mud a few times. I was not a happy Mama!

Flying Snake of Death

So for the past four or so days I have been nursing my poor infected kidneys back to health. Which has not been fun at all. I've done a lot of sleeping and staggering around the house and missing all of the beautiful weather that we have been having. So today, I decided during my lunch hour as I was sitting in the porch watching Ti mutilate one of the cats that I was going to do something productive. So last year when we had that big freeze and everything under my house burst the majority of the plant life in my yard died, including the mosquito vine. I don't actually know what the vine is really called but I refer to it as the mosquito vine because if you walk near it in the summer time, more than likely you are going to contract malaria, or west nile, or whatever it is that you get from mosquitoes. Anyways, half of the vine came back, the other half did not and now I have this big, dead, crappy looking vine that needs serious help. But as of today, I will not be helping it.

Here is a picture of me with the mosquito vine, back in the day when I was 18, not afraid of contracting a mosquito disease and when I thought this was attractive enough to post on myspace. WTF was I thinking?

Anyways, so as I was sitting on the porch I decided that I would walk over and look at the vine and see what all I could do about hacking up all the dead before the mosquitoes officially moved into it this summer. What I should have done is asked Joseph to do it when he got home from work because, that little grass snake he said would never hurt anyone and that he let live last month has officially moved out from under my plastic pond and into the mosquito vine.

So there I was, tugging at a dead portion of the vine, trying to rip some of it down when a flying, ninja, grass snake came flying out of the vine and landed directly on my shoulder. Kidney infection problem solved, I peed my pants. They are working again. (Ok, I did not actually pee my pants, but trust me, I could have.)

So then I screamed, or rather screeched, ran out of the yard, did a ninja dance in the driveway, and decided I am never going back into my yard again.  In fact, if Joseph ever wants me to cook dinner for him again, he will have to build a bridge from the carport to the front door because I am not stepping foot inside the gate to that yard ever again.

So the moral to this story is, next time your fiance tells you that you should kill the snake under the plastic fake pond and you say, "It's just a grass snake. It won't hurt anyone!" and your fiance says, "yes, I will hurt myself trying to get away from it if I ever see it again!" You should just listen, and kill the damn snake.

Also, I am not sure if that really was THE snake, but I am going to believe that it was to get my point across.